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Sarah Hyland on Dealing with Chronic Health Issues and Suicidal Thoughts


So what’s amazing– and you’ve
been outspoken about this, which I think is so important. I think the more people
talk about anything that people are scared to talk
about, it’s good for all of us. But I had no idea
the health issues that you’ve gone through. I mean, it’s enormous. There’s been– you– I tried to remember it, but
how much– what’s gone on? It’s a lot. I’ve had about I want to say six
surgeries over the past couple of years, but I want to say
maybe 16 surgeries all together throughout my life. I just turned 28. And I’ve had two
kidney transplants, I have endometriosis,
a whole slew of things. And about 2 and 1/2 years ago– I can’t even do the math
right anymore because time is fleeting– but I went into
rejection and I had to go on dialysis, and– While you were working
on Modern Family? While I was working
on Modern Family. I had gout. What is gout? It’s like when as a
thing crystallizes– when your [INAUDIBLE]
crystallizes in your bones– Oh, and there’s pain. Yes. And it’s extremely painful. One of the most– I’ve been through a lot of pain. One of the most painful
things I’ve ever had. So you’re going to work on one
of the most hilarious shows on television– Thank you. –and being funny,
and yet you’re going through this
pain every single day. And then I read that you were
going through major depression because of the sickness,
which totally makes sense, that you actually thought
about taking your own life. Yeah. First of all, how– and I know
you have a lot of support. You have people in
your life, but when people hear that, what
an amazing life you have, what an amazing job
you have, you’re going to laugh every single day. And yet still when you go home,
you get into that dark place. What would you say to
anybody who– like, what got you out of that? It ended up being myself
that got me out of that. I had to do it on my own. I told myself I had
to do it on my own. You know, I have an amazing
job, an amazing support system, but after– at the time I was 26. After 26, 27 years
of just always being sick and being in
chronic pain every single day, and you don’t know
when you’re going to have the next good day,
it’s really, really hard. And I would write
letters in my head to loved ones of why I did it,
and my reasoning behind it, how it was nobody’s
fault. And I didn’t want to write it down on paper,
because I didn’t want anybody to find it. Because that’s
how serious I was. How close did you get? I mean, were you really
close to doing that? I was very, very,
very, very close, yeah. And then you got
yourself out of it. But what was the
one thing that said, I am not going to do this. I finally said it out loud to
someone, and that someone– I had been saying, I need
to go to see a therapist. I think I need to go
see a therapist again. And they’re like, no, no. Why would you see one? You could just talk to me. And when I said
it out loud, they were like, oh, you need
to see a therapist. And that’s when I was like, OK. I don’t think you’re
going to help me. I think I need to really
do this on my own, and really do even more
digging and soul searching. And just saying it out
loud helped immensely, because I kept it to myself for
months and months at a time. And I just– saying it
out loud really helped. And no one in your– no one around you saw that
you were in that kind of– you were that close to
taking your life? No, I– I just– I didn’t want anybody to
know that I was that close. Yeah Because if they knew,
they would try and– Stop it. –persuade me. Yeah. So the thing you would
say to anybody feeling like that at all is just say
it out loud, talk to somebody? Yeah. I mean, every person with
their anxiety or depression or if you have
suicidal thoughts, every individual is different. So I wouldn’t just rely
on everything that I say. I’m just sharing my story. Right. But I think talking to someone
and saying it out loud really, really makes it sound
almost ridiculous, and it puts everything
into perspective. You’re amazing. I’m so– and that’s the thing. You watch somebody
on television, and you think they have it all. And what you’re going
through, and what you had to keep going
through in the struggle while still making everybody
happy and laugh, I admire you talking about it. I really do. Thank you so much. All right, we’ll take a break. We’ll be back.

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