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My Stalker Fan Story & Dealing with Hate | My Online Safety Story & Advice

My Stalker Fan Story & Dealing with Hate | My Online Safety Story & Advice


Hello. I’m Lucy, and I run
the YouTube channel, “English With
Lucy,” which teaches English as a second language. And today, I’m going to talk
to you about online safety and making your online
experience a positive one. When people take
an interest in you, they really do pick up way more
information than you would ever imagine. When I just started
my channel, because I didn’t have that many
subscribers compared to other YouTubers, I felt
quite safe with the information that I was sharing. Little did I know that
somebody was keeping an eye on what I was sharing. This one ran that did manage
to scare me quite a bit actually found out my full
address and phone number and sent it to me. I never put my address
out on the internet. He’d managed to
piece together lots of different bits of
information from all of my videos, and
photos, and geotagging, and work out exactly where I
live, right to the house name. The best thing you
could possibly do is start off on the right foot. So define exactly what you
want to share, and stick to it, and always have that in
the back of your mind. Also, be open with it. Be open about what you
are comfortable with and what you aren’t
comfortable with. There’s a line, and
it can’t be crossed. You are a real person, and
you need to be respected. One thing I do get is
a lot of criticism– sometimes constructive,
sometimes not so constructive. And I must admit,
sometimes, it’s a little bit hard to swallow,
because let’s face it. You’re putting yourself
out there on the internet. People aren’t going
to like it always. So when I get constructive
criticism or a really negative comment, if it’s politely
worded, then I will reply. If it’s really negative, I’ll
reply with a sort of joke, or I’ll make light
of the situation. I’ll try and put a
positive spin on it. I get a lot of hate
comments, much more than you would ever imagine. When I started out
the channel and I was getting some funny
comments, I sometimes would name and shame or
really respond to them. And I’ve just found that the
best way of dealing with them is ignoring them, just
a very quiet report, or blocking them from the page. Never say a word, and keep
it really, really positive. So I like to be seen
to be rewarding really, really positive and
lovely messages publicly. And so people realize that
the best way to get response is by being nice and friendly,
and that being negative gets you nothing at all. A worst case scenario, if
somebody is misbehaving, block them. They’re not welcome anymore. I think my biggest tip to
anyone who uses the internet and receives any
sort of hate message is try to imagine the person
that’s writing that message. It might be a 12-year-old
that’s having a really bad day. It might be somebody that’s
just going through a breakup. You don’t know what
they’re going through. Why are they doing it? Why, instead of being
out on a lovely run, or out with their friends? Why are they sat in
their room, on their own, writing horrible
messages to you? It’s because they’re not happy. And so that’s why
they’re spreading hate. And I find that
imagining that and trying to envision that instead
of feeling angry with them, it actually makes me
sympathize a little bit and feel sorry for them. The best thing you can do is
feel sorry for the haters, rather than angry and
offended by the haters. Kill them with kindness. Be nice to them. And if you still don’t get
a good response, leave them. It’s really, really
important to be aware that what you’re sharing
can be seen by anyone. A while back, there was
a huge trend on YouTube about sharing story times. I shared a story about
a miscommunication from a student. But it was a bit
of a naughty story, because he asked me if
I wanted any peanuts. But he mispronounced the word,
and it sounded like something a little bit dirty. And I shared this
video and this story, thinking it was going to
be really, really funny and going to motivate my
students to be really, really careful with their
pronunciation. I didn’t expect it to
get that many views. I didn’t have that many
subscribers at the time. I wasn’t getting that
many views on each video, but it did go a bit viral. Sometimes, I’ll meet people like
my friend’s mums or something like that. And they’ll say, oh, yeah. I saw that video that you
made about the peanuts. That is not a good
first impression there. You never know
who’s going to take an interest in what you’re up
to, where you are, who you are. You just don’t know, so it’s
better to be safe than sorry. I would definitely think twice
before geotagging anything around your house,
where you live, or where you work, or places
that you visit frequently, because if somebody
wants to find you, and they see that you have
coffee at the same cafe every Monday at 7 o’clock in the
morning, they could be there. And they could find you. Also, one more thing
that I didn’t think about is disclosing when
I’m going to be on holiday, because if
somebody does work out where you live and they
know that you’re traveling the world for two months,
you might come back to a nasty surprise. So looking back, I wish
I had been more careful from the very, very beginning. Just don’t forget
that it’s your page. It’s your social media,
and you have the right to have it as you want it. Thank you for
joining me here today to learn about online
safety and make the internet a better place. And don’t forget to check out
my channel, “English With Lucy.”

Comments (100)

  1. Please stay safe!! I would also love for you to share any stories you have about online safety!!!

  2. pleaseee make a video about essays Jaja. I need it! 😄 how to write a prefect one!

  3. It was a nice idea for you to do a video about this topic , really neccessary.

  4. Thank you for the great tips! Too many weirdos out there so it's definitely better to be safe! I can't imagine anyone posting nasty comments to you because you're such a lovely person!

  5. nasty suprise? what you mean?

  6. You only deserve respect and love.
    Thank you very much for teaching me English .🌹

  7. Hi, Lucy! How about flirtings on line? Has this ever happened to you? Because you`re very beautiful woman and many men can´t help making a move. See?

  8. I really don't know why some people send you hate comments, you're are such a humble, helpful and kind person. Don't care about bad comments, we all recieve such comments and just the clevers ignore them. A huge hug from South America. Brazil loves you!

  9. you are really beautiful
    I love you.

  10. Thanks for your advice lucy!! They seem to be very useful 🙂 and it's true we have to be aware of the safeness on the internet and social networks!
    greetings from chile 😘

  11. But I want more "peanuts lesson". it's so much fun

  12. Small profile, break the routines and use chroma key as background for your videos.
    So sad you've been stalked; i hope you reported that criminal to the authorities.
    That's the primary reason why i have no social accounts, except for the youtube one.
    Peace and love and respect.

  13. Lucy, thank you for the inspiration! You are very positive=)

  14. Yikes, it was safer back in the day when we didn't have social media and such…just the telegraph and smoke signals.

  15. how on earth existing such a beautiful girl?

  16. Currently, I only have a YouTube channel so I can view amazing videos, leave comments, and possibly make some new friends. However, I am seriouly thinking about posting videos dealing with art. Some of them would showcase my own art, while some ot them would be more instructional (how-to) videos. I'm very grateful for your advice on becoming a YouTuber.

    BTW, even though I speak English just fine (well… American English… ), I still enjoy your videos! 😀 Cheers from across the pond.

  17. Dance at the of the video like every time I love your dance 😎

  18. Thank you for making this video. I will be following your advice, and should my channel take off, I'll be safe.

  19. woow lovin' the professionalism of this video
    Couldn't have been better!!
    👍

  20. I guess today we take a "lesson" on british temperament.

  21. This video is soooooo needed Lucy! Thanks for the tips and the love you share out here on the internet 😘
    P.S. Did you film this on a green screen??!! 😯

  22. Great topic! Love how you think… ☺ Also, since I almost never post comments, just wanted to let you know your channel helped me a lot concerning English (teaching techniques) and gave me ideas 😘🌸

  23. how intelligent you are. thx for sharing this video.

  24. lucy, your videos are very useful for me. I´m an English teacher and I always check your videos…

  25. I started my Youtube channel a short time ago and I'm already trying to be very careful with what I say. It would be very scary if people found out information about that I wouldn't want them to find out about in the first place!

  26. Pff. It's all about to spread Peace and Love . God bless you ! 😉

  27. Thank you Lucy Ma'am for you nice video and advices…… I've accepted you as my English teacher. You're so nice as a teacher. I wanna be a teacher like you…

  28. Such a good video to help us with our listening.

  29. Me gusta mucho el color del cabello de Lucy y su voz! Y todo.

  30. is this the green background??😂😂

  31. Hello Lucy, I've just started to follow you and i find really useful seeing your videos. I'm trying to be more confidence on speaking.Thank you for sharing you knowledge!

  32. Somebody tell me please, what level of English should I have to be able to comprehend and understand her videos??????? Thanks in advance

  33. but i love that video regarding "peanuts" (pronounced carefully) and decided to subscribe you!! haha

  34. i love your videos.

  35. Lucy, a very good video. I see this happening to a lot of sites that I prescribe to. To some, it has caused them to close down.

  36. I love british accent. Unfortunately it's impossible for me to reproduce. Lovely videos.

  37. Please make breastfeeding tutorial video next Thanks Lucy. you are wicked.

  38. althoug she's so young she's quite clever and her videos are quite useful at least work for me.but I don't know,it might seem a little strange but she is too stunning…Anyhow,she's is kindda famous now and with merits

  39. Well said Lucy!!! 👏🏻🕺Great video!

  40. Can you have Chinese and English subtitles, forgive my request too much, ha ha

  41. english with lucy is the only channel that i understand when i am watching thnx

  42. Dear Lucy,

    I love you.

    Yours trully
    Hasan

  43. Dear Lucy!
    I like pure and understandable pronunciation that you demonstrate in your
    lessons. Please, keep in mind that your audience consists of those who study
    English, no matter of which level they are. Your pronunciation in this video is
    casual i.e. the speech was not 100% understandable aurally.

    Sorry for my audacity, but I want to tell you something about your
    image. You keep altering it and I like your image in this video, but I don’t
    really like it in ‘20 Words You (might) Pronounce Incorrectly’. I’d
    recommend not to use it once more.

  44. Thanks for those wonderful advices and thanks for your great videos as it really helped me to improve my English language either speak or write. It were also enlightening me to speak the right pronunciation in certain words. Plus, I am still learning to speak English with British accent and when I watched your video it was so helpful. Thank you so much. Hope you can share more videos.

    P/s: I hope that you can share a video about how to use idioms correctly especially when writing.

  45. Hello! Thank you a lot for your videos, they are so interesting and useful! It would be very much appreciated if you could make a video about RP accent. Thank you in advance!

  46. Hello lucy.. I have seen you first time on you tube today. you are so beautiful and your voice is melody..

  47. quien te haga algo me lo cargo lucy

  48. Hi! I really like your videos! Congratulations!

  49. "Kill them with kindness", perfect!
    I hope our love for you obliterates the unhinged hatred messages you've got, because your classes are very important for us.

  50. hello Could you make a video to explain how to properly use the prefix like non,in un . Especially non. It's hard.

  51. i love you , i swear by the house of god .

  52. This is scary!!!… YouTubing is definitely a dangerous activity, whatever the way you look at it… I mean, you never know who's on the other side of the screen!!!

  53. Has any of my comments offended you personally, Lucy? (°_°) I want to be a kind subscriber… and stick to good Internet etiquette, and… we love you, please, don't let evil, nasty comments ever get you down!!!

    P.S. I hope and pray for the sake of all that's sacred and dear to me that you never have to confront stalkers or… You name it… (T_T) If anything happened to you, it would be terrifying…

  54. Tienes un punto loca que me mola mucho. Muchas felicidades por tu trabajo!!

  55. good morning ma'am I'm understand english but I can't speek front of public what can I do? give me advice

  56. who is from Kazakhstan?

  57. Actually you are advising us like an older sister. Love it with all of my heart. Love youuu!!!

  58. Your expression at 2:59 is quite funny and at the same time adorable 🙂

  59. I would like to start a channel about Italian language and culture. Now I'm a little scared 😂😂

  60. Good tips! And I think you should be also circumspect when you pick up your mail from your po box…someone could try to understand when you go there to do so…

  61. u r so lovely and loving person .. i can`t imagine someone sending u a hate message .. for me .. i only have some replies of racism when i write a comment .. they think that being a muslim mean that i`m a terrorist that kills people and love to see them dying and bla bla .. although i really hate to see an animal being killed for food lke cows or chicken for example and i`m just a vet who treat animals without any idea to hate or harm … but there are much psychics in the world

  62. Hoy, me he dado cuenta que tengo mucho que aprender de inglès. pero creo entender en general ,que alguien hizo comentarios de odio hacia lucy, y su canal…yo sigo este canal porque quiero entender y mejorar mi inglès…por listenning, pues! y porque…inevitablemente, amo a lucy! 😉 te sigo lucy, con mucho respeto. Besos desde mi hermosa Venezuela!

  63. Well said 💕👌🏻

  64. Lucy are a beautiful person and very wise

  65. This is the right attitude! Keep it up Lucy! I'm your fan!

  66. Probably Jadie is envious of Lucy! lol

  67. I hate people who are doing things like that. Stalker sucks. ¡You're so lovely and deserve respect.

  68. you are so young and you have a positive attitude, love it. keep up the good work 😉😉

  69. I just wanted to tell you I really like what you do and how you do it! For hate comments… they are just envious (non ti curar di loro, ma guarda e passa)!;)

  70. i love your videos. sometimes I draw inspiration from your lessons as I am also a teacher of English

  71. where is the peanut joke? I cannot wait to watch itlol

  72. Hello, What kind of music is the one of the intro?

  73. Hi ..
    could you please tell me what is this sentence mean " I'll make light of the situation '?

  74. You are very good teacher! Continue your work and don't pay attention for haters!

  75. Thankyou for informaton. I am new to you tube so this helped me alot.

  76. ♥You're absolutely brilliant♥

  77. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HKVucV-8tK8

  78. Really good video, and so important! Thanks! Also, are you supercareful with like passwords and things like that too?

  79. Cô ơi em yêu cô

  80. Lucy will you PLZ deliver something on parts of speech. Thanx.

  81. I agree Lucy…
    I m not a native speaker but I do understand almost everything you say in this video…although you speak so fast… Lol …thank you for your lessons…

  82. Good tips Lucy thanks again love your videos

  83. Thank you very much my teacher

  84. you will help me if you make your videos with the Subtitles and thanks very much to you …

  85. you're exemplary really ,feeling so proud that I'm watching your channel!
    your Arabic fans love you ❤

  86. Lucy, Great video and well said. Thanks for the tips. It's a bit mind blowing and more than a bit sad that people do that sort of stuff and you need to be that careful. Have fun and stay safe.

  87. u r so positive and cool i like ur attitude towards haters

  88. I can advise Turkish foods

  89. If I don't like something about you, I'll try to keep the good, positive features of the way you are. We're supposed to watch your videos to improve and learn something more about the English language and not about stalking

  90. Please stay safe!! I would also love for you to share any stories you have about online safety!!!

  91. Luckily I never have been in a situation like this. 😥
    I will never understand why people tend to get unfriendly when they sit behind a screen.
    Criticism itself is a valuable feedback, when it is constructive. It's not the goal that everyone has to like everything on the net. But there is a finde line between criticizing and insulting. 😥

    Tolerance and kindness – the world needs more tolerance and kindness ♥

  92. Great video, I loved it.
    Kind regards !!! Blessings from Dominican Republic.
    I always watch your awesome videos, and I also love your personality!

  93. Анша Абдуль

  94. I want you Lucy 🥰 💋

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