Roman: Oh! Remember all of the events in the last episode… Logan: Patton. You know, full well, what it means when Thomas is thinking about Guys and Dolls. Patton: I don’t know what it means – Sue Me. Thomas: Oh, I get it. That was a song from Guys and Dolls. R: You just don’t understand love. L: I understand that it’s making you act pathetic. P: Somebody say cat aesthetic? L: Take it off. T: When you’ve been in a relationship as long as I was, It’s… hard to let go of those feelings. R: Why don’t we just call ’em? You know? We can call him right now – Virgil: STOP. R: A TEXT then. V: Definitely seems to be room for improvement. T: ROOM! Patton – you’re at the core of a lot of my happy feelings. P: I’m at the core of a lot of your feelings. T: Maybe going there and enhancing those happy feelings is what I need. P: Here we go… T: Look at all the memories you’ve got stored in this place, Patton! L: There seems to be a high concentration of items encompassing your education here, Thomas. R: The show memories, the performances. V: Are these your old journal entries and stories that you wrote in middle school? L: The Rainforest Rap. T: Your room is awesome! Like I don’t know why you would want to leave it – ever. L: Virgil, are you okay? L: Come on, let’s go. It’s time to end this experiment. T: Logan, shush it’s… fine. It’s fine. L: All of this because Patton can’t let go of one person? P: Logan, can you stop? Please? L: If you don’t wanna to listen to me, This is your issue to resolve. I am outty fifty thousand. R: Hey. Do you guys remember the fifth season of Lost? Ah, what a good use of a flashback to bring unaware viewers up to speed for this video. T: That was subtle. [Sanders Sides Theme Music Plays] R: Well, this is just great! Fantastic. PERFECT. No one wants to talk about Lost with me? T: Patton, what happened there? P: Oh, that was nothing, Thomas. Sometimes I just get to act a little bit silly that’s all –
look pictures… T: Patton, that wasn’t acting silly that was something… …much worse than silly. P: … Feisty. T: No, the – [exhales] This looking back on simple memories is just tiptoeing around the things that I REALLY want to remember. But I – I CAN’T or I – I shouldn’t. You guys, this isn’t GOOD. I mean – the literal voice of reason just LEFT! R: No! Love is not about REASON Thomas. Love is about taking a CHANCE. You took a chance when you asked a guy out three years ago, and it led to you having some of the happiest moments of your life. Now, your heart is crying out to you –
Patton cry out to him – P: What?
R: Go ahead, cry out. [honk/yell?] R: See? Now are you going to ignore his cry Thomas, or are you going to… Take a chance. T: Take a chance… how? R: By picking up your phone, dialing HIS number, and CHARGING BACK into love’s battlefield. T: Yeah…. [Virgil grunts] Him [on the phone]: Hello? P: [gasps] That’s him! V: [distorted voice] Hang up! T: AH! R: Why did you hang up?! T: Virgil told me to! R: Why did you listen to him?! T: He was LOUD. R: Higitus Figitus, I’m getting sick of this! Patton: No no no no no no no no no no nonononononono- T: What do I do now?! P: Got a sloppy situation here… R: Oh! The back up idea! Text him! T: Text him what?! R: Uh – tell him you butt-dialled him. T: What?! A Butt-dial?!! Really?!! R: Uh – Look, I’m thinking off the fly here Thomas,
and you DO have a bodacious back side. T: Stop. V: [distorted voice] No. R: I mean that thing has a mind of its own. T: I am NOT gonna lie to him. R: Then let your tush do the talking. T: What? R: Let your bottom do the bluffing. Keep your lips locked, let your cheeks and hips talk. T: My hips do NOT lie, Princey. R: I’m just saying you have a very persuasive posterior. I’m so sorry. I can’t stop. P: Now, Roman, lying is wrong. T: Yeah, that’s a side of myself that I would prefer not to feed into. R: Well then what are you going to do? Tell him that you called in an act of desperation? Because for MONTHS you’ve been quietly hoping that everything would go back to the way that it was before? T: I – R: Are you going to tell him about all the times you fantasized about him calling you? Saying that he’s ready to try again? Are you going to tell him that you want him back? Because that’s the truth. T: No. R: I didn’t think so. T: No, I mean, no that’s not the truth. I – I don’t WANT him back. At least… …not in that way. I – I don’t wanna do that to him… …because I love him. He was unhappy when he was with me. And I – I don’t want him to be unhappy. The truth is, Roman, I don’t want him back. R: But you do. I KNOW you do. I know all of your dreams and fantasies. I’m “The Dreamy Fantasy Guy.” P: He does… and he doesn’t. T: [exhales] I wish I had Logan here to explain this. That can’t be real, Roman. The thing that I want – that you want for me… …it’s impossible. You’re right. I want it SO BADLY but…. …it’s fantasy. Forcing a relationship that doesn’t work to happen again after it already fell apart – restarting that cycle of heartbreak… That would be mean. To him AND to me. But that would be the reality, and I DON’T WANT that reality. R: I – I… Oh, what did I make you DO? Patton, Virgil. I – I’m getting this all wrong, and I’m HURTING YOU in the process – T: Oh geez – he’s calling me back. R: PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP!!! V: [demonic voice] Don’t! P: I – I don’t know – I don’t know?! R: DESTINY HAS DIALLED BACK!!! V: Get rid of it – get rid of the phone now! T: [desperate war cry] [collective sounds of dissaproval] P: I – I know you shouldn’t have done THAT. V: [exhales] I meant like – set it down or something…. T: [whispers] I panicked. P: Yeah… R: I just gotta say I am – uh – sorry, guys. I was literally in the middle of apologizing, and I just immediately took a u-turn right back into
“Part of the Problem” Town. P: No, it’s not all your fault, Roman. I think we’re ALL in a bit of a jumble here. T: What am I doing here? Honestly. There are future shows to perform in. Future pictures to take. New things to write and – …new things to learn. I know this, I KNOW I know this… So why do I look back? P: Maybe… because… it’s easier to stay here and try to be happy. R: Possibly because it reminds you of a time when you felt… …worthy of someone. V: [normal voice returns] You’re afraid. Afraid that… …you’ll never feel some of these feelings again. P: THAT feeling. T: I’m mad at myself sometimes, guys. No matter how I try, no matter how long it’s been… Or what I attempt to distract myself with Eventually the train of thought always leads back to the memories tied to – We met when we both auditioned for Guys and Dolls. We were both cast and… …quickly became friends. R: Yes. T: Such a simple show. It’s amazing how a musical as simple as that one that’s not very deep could mean so much to me. It was my favorite show. But not because I particularly liked the songs or the dialogue. Honestly, I’m not really a fan. Even still – it was my favorite musical. And I can’t bear to listen to its music. R: Mmm, because of the outdated and unsavory gender roles filled out by the cast of characters. T: Because T & V: It hurts. T: And also because of that. V: Yeah… T: I still wasn’t comfortable with… …myself but… I just felt something for someone else that I had never felt before. Ya know? P: No. T: Heck I – I don’t think I ever put myself out there more for ANYONE. V: It was freakin’ torture, man. T: But it was worth it.
I’m sure it was. Wow, okay… when I was young my Uncle Buck- P: Like the movie! T: Yeah, sure. P: Say what does Buck short for? T: Uh… …I don’t know… but – P: Because he’s got little legs! [giggles] R: Oh, like the reason he is short. T: You know you don’t have to do that, Patton. P: What? T: Try to… HIDE what you’re feeling with jokes. It’s okay to be sad sometimes. P: I’m never sad! I’m your happy Pappy Patton! Just a fun-loving father figure figment. T: Falsehood. P: You said yourself.
I’m at the core of a lot of your happy feelings. T: You’re at the core of a lot of my feelings…. … Happy or Otherwise. When I was younger, my uncle used to take me fishing and I HATED it. It was boring, throwing the living fish in the cooler upset me – – there was no escape for them or for me. On the boat, I was stranded with miles of H2-Open water in every direction. R: There’s never a bad time for wordplay. T: After my ex and I had been dating for some time and my family saw how serious it was, my uncle invited us BOTH out on the water with him, and I was not looking forward to it. I mean, my mind was racing. What might my uncle say, what if I said something wrong? Am I prepared to share a small space with my boyfriend and my uncle with no easy escape? V: [Shudders] Oof. T: The day came and it was… …not bad at all. Fishing was so much better with him there. R: Your uncle? T: Obviously not. R: Well, a little clarity never hurt anybody. T: [clarifies] My boyfriend. With him, I didn’t mind floating in the middle of a mass of water. I wasn’t isolated anymore. It can have a pretty BIG impact when someone can make you enjoy something you’d normally dread. That was when I really knew, ya know? From that point on, I guess I was – V: Don’t. T: Hooked. V: You ruined it. T: The whole relationship was filled with those moments. They’re the moments that I choose to hold on to the most. But… I- I have to be fair to myself… … and recall the other moments. The moments filled with sadness, anger, and confusion. The moments where we wondered whether the paths that we were on were truly conducive to… … having each other in our lives. When we ended things, it was for the best,
but my heart… Er… I… …never stopped loving him. V: I know. WE know, Thomas. But eventually… You’re gonna have to move on from him. T: I just don’t know how to. P: Maybe… Maybe you don’t – not completely. T: Patton – P: But you can’t stay here. Moving On is not the same as Moving Forward. What I mean is – don’t focus on “Moving On,” Constantly reminding yourself of where you should be in life only makes you feel more… …down in the dumps. At first, this room does bring a jolt of happiness – I feel it myself whenever I come here – But… …the return to the present can be… … too much, sometimes. It’s why I’ve been so… emotional lately. R: Patton, I had no idea. I suppose I’ve been contributing to that, in some way. Thomas, you should know that though I dream big, where you are in life… …It’s precisely where you need to be. And the only direction to go is forward
– one step at a time. Not staying stuck in one place. If you’re truly destined to be with him, now is not the time to worry about it. T: You’re right. I have to focus on me. And I have to acknowledge that ALL my feelings are valid. P: You’re right, kiddo. It’s just… I feel guilty for still feeling this way after SO LONG. R: Eh… You’re not the only one. V: How you’re reacting for however long is completely normal – not bad, not strange, not stupid. R: You’ve been so accepting of all of us and our and -uh- eccentricities you’re darn tootin we would do the same for you-tin I’m sorry, I had to write rhyme it. P: Aww, shucks. Well, I just thought it would be EASIER to avoid all those nasty feelings altogether. T: Patton, avoiding grief can seem appealing, But I – I don’t think it’s fair to our mental health. Here’s a little rap that I made up, just now: It may seem scary to be that sad, but repressin’ depression can also be bad. R: Okay, well I’ll – I’ll – I’ll do the rhyming. In a way, grieving could be just the ticket we need to take that path forward to recovery. That was a mixed metaphor. I’m sorry. I’m not thinking… straight. Ever. I’m not straight. V: Just Be mindful. Being self-aware of what you’re feeling and non-judgmental in the face of those feelings. Knowing that… they’re normal. And that you’re on the road to feeling better,
could be exactly what it takes. P: You’re right, Virgil, and I should have been more mindful of YOU. V: Don’t sweat it. I – I just wish I could have been more help. I’ve always been the one who worried about losing the people that you loved. And that happened. And… … I haven’t known what to do since. T: Virgil , you’ve been as helpful as you could have been. Sadness shapes a different world. P: Gee, love is something, huh? R: Sho’nuff. V: And you loved him. A bushel and a peck. T: Oh! My- R: Virgil coming THROUGH with another Guys and Dolls song. Yes! P: That’s my boy. V: I couldn’t resist. T: All right, guys. Let’s get out of here. [Patton exhales] P: Are you ready? T: I think I am. P: Well then… Let’s go. R: Off into the great wide somewhere… V: Make a note to burn some of these journals. T: Never. Home again, home again. R: Haha! V: Whoa. That was new for me. I’ve never done that whole… rising up thing. How you guys do that every episode? I’m so lightheaded. P: [sighs] L: Oh, you’re back. T: Hey…
R: Ah, hey… buddy. P: Logan! L: Finally coming to your senses I see. V: Hey – what the heck was that? Disappearing on us? Don’t you dare try that stunt again. L: Did you honestly think that I was fully out of the conversation? I’m not a feeling. I’m the physical representation of something deeply embedded within you. Even if it seems like I’m gone, I’ll always be there to a degree. V: Okay. Well. Warn a dude next time. L: Now, in regards to the figurative siren song that had you all spellbound Are you satisfied with your resolution? T: Well, it -ah- it took some soul-searching, but – um- I think we got there. P: Um… sorry, Logan. I don’t know why these things make us lose sight of you sometimes. R: Yes, you were completely right. L: I know. R: Meaning you were right about initially being wrong. L: I know. All that matters now is how we proceed. T: Yes. And I do think there are positives to nostalgia, all those good memories truly do encourage me to think about what lies ahead. T: But… I also think it’s important to focus more on being mindful of who and where I am – here and now. P: No one can REALLY plan their future. R: But that shouldn’t stop them from looking forward to it. V: No matter the fears. L: You have all your past experiences that will hopefully help you and not hinder you. T: You guys are right. L: And -uh – a little compromise, Patton? L: As much as it pains me, sometimes when the heart wants change, you must listen to it. Is this appealing to you… at all? [Patton gasps] P: Logan… is that a… …Cat Hoodie? L: I thought this might be less cumbersome while still catering to your -uh- eccentric standards. P: [gasps again]
You got me a GIFT?!!! Oh my GOODNESS!!!
I LOVE IT!!!!! L: It even has a front pouch to place an actual cat, if you so desire. P: Oh, I can’t.
I’m allergic. L: Then WHY the cat onesie? P: I like cats. R: You know what would also fit in there that you’re NOT allergic to… P: What? R: Kaboom. [Moment of complete awe] P: PUPPIES??!! T: WHAT?! P: You can conjure puppies?! R: Shhh, don’t tell anyone. [Patton squeals with happiness] L: Well, this is just too precious to process. V: I… Literally can’t think of anything bitter or cynical to remark. P: Thank you so much, Logan. L: Of course. It’s all purely for practical reasons, small steps forward and all that. P: Roll over. Oh, he can’t do it ’cause you’re in my pocket, it -that’s – it’s okay. Aww look his little yawn, his little yawn! R: Say… looking at all those old shows really made me miss the stage even more, Thomas. What other roles haven’t we played? Sweeney Todd, Lumiere, ANNIE?! V: Um, he can’t play…okay, well there he goes. I’m gonna brace myself to work overtime REAL soon. Later. T: Getting back on stage would DEFINITELY be fun, But -uh- trying an extra course or two could also be interesting. I don’t know, might try both again just to switch things up, could be fun. L: I’m… Glad to hear you say that, Thomas. T: But seriously… thanks for your help today, Logan.
L: All in a day’s work. Good that we got through another emotional mire. As for the course to take, please consider – Both: Astronomy. T: Yup, right there with you
L: YES! [Thomas sighed contentedly] T: Well, Patton?
P: Yeah, Thomas? T: How are ya feeling? P: Well, that’s always a tough question to answer, But… this puppy sure is helping things. T: Honestly though – the times that we see you being silly and laughing… Some of that’s real… right? P: Well, yeah, of course, Thomas.
Almost all the time it is. There’s so much good in your life to remember and appreciate, as well as the bad. Those memories don’t have to be forgotten, but they shouldn’t weight us down. They shouldn’t weigh you down because… they’re just a PART of who you are. All of you is important. T: Will I ever feel that special feeling again? P: I think you just got a keep in mind that you’re worthy of great things – independent of anyone who comes and goes in your life. Once you realize that, You’re capable of feeling those feelings on your own terms. Hey, you like rainbows, right? T: Uh, you know I do.
I’m offended that you would ask. P: Well you always see them best after a bit of rain. T: Wow… That was a – um – really nice metaphor, Patton. P: I’m just saying cuz it looks like it’s raining outside and you might get to see a killer rainbow. T: Ah… T: Gotcha. Um… Well… Usually I like to end with a pretty concise conclusion on the best way to handle a dilemma. But… I – I don’t know if there is such a clear answer on how best to move on. Perhaps the main thing to focus on is… Just… P: One step in front of the other, kiddo. You can do it. I’m rootin’ for ya. T: Okay. [“The Things We Used To Share”
by Thomas Sanders Instrumental Plays] [background music ends] T: Before closing out the video, I just have to remark that it is roughly one year since the very first Sanders Sides video, and I just can’t believe it. Thank you all SO MUCH for your continued support. Your appreciation of the videos and just allowing us to tell stories like the one you just saw. My friends and I work really hard on these videos, and we just are blown away by the response and we’re so thankful for all of you, so thank you SO MUCH And if you enjoyed the Sanders Sides and you want to rep. any of them, there is tons of merch over at the merch store Um- and there’s gonna be new stuff later on this year that I’m super excited about so if you want to check any of it out You can go to this URL Um – to stay up to date If not – no big deal, because honestly we are just grateful to have you all as viewers and supporting us the way that you do. So thank you all so much. And until next time, Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals… Peace out! L & R: So get up, get out. Let everyone know. We need to let the animals and the trees GROW! R: Oh!
L: Yeah. Rainforest Rap. V: [groans] R: The Rainforest Rap!
L: Save the Rainforest. R: See? Maybe you’ll think twice about interrupting us next time, Virgil. L: We cannot be stopped – Only paused. V: Is it too late to be an outcast again? P: Hey Ya! [giggles] Right? “Hey Ya”? It’s a single by Outkast? The second Outkast reference in a Sanders Sides Video? I only know one song by Outkast. L: Patton, how are you today? P: Um, I’m doing pretty great. Feeling So Fresh, So Clean – ANOTHER Outkast song! Tricked ya! R: Are you really though? V: How do we know that you’re not just… …covering up? P: Naw, you guys I’m- I’m learning not to do that.
Plus, to make it easier, I realize that whenever I leave my room,
I get to see all of you. Gives me something to look forward to. L: Well. That is very good to hear. P: Logan, you have got that “cool factor.” Heck, you’re making me feel cooler. L: Oh. Um -eh- thank you. P: Maybe it’s because you’re… L: Wait no! P: My biggest fan! L: Ah…. [continues in a groan] R: [sighs] Things are looking up. V: Yup.