Translator: Bob Prottas

Reviewer: Ariana Bleau Lugo Yes, I am the mathematician

who’s going to get you so laid. (Laughter) And to begin I need you

to stare at this equation. I mean, there’s your first orgasm

right there, I know it. But these are very sophisticated equations that model a successful marriage. And they’re ground breaking equations because it was the first time

that truly sophisticated mathematics was used in the field of romance. And they predict with 95% accuracy rate whether newlyweds will be together

in six years time. And you can see there’s the “W” for wife and the “H” for husband. So, they modeled newlyweds

talking about areas of contention like the in-laws or money. And then they modeled the responses according to how each partner

was responding to the other. Body language as well. And what came out

was this interesting influence factor at the end there, which actually revealed that couples that responded the least to each other had a better chance

of a successful marriage. So that means —

(Laughter) I see some people are like,

“We knew that.” So, couples that compromised the least ended up being together the most. This was very interesting because a lot of therapy

has been based on empathy. And you laughed before, so maybe you don’t say

when you partner comes home, “Yes darling, I know. Let me rub your feet

and fix you a martini.” Because what they’ve actually found

is that might not be the best way forward. Maybe the best way,

or the mathematics revealed, that having high standards

and finding ways to reach for those standards

is in fact the way to go. So mathematics is the study of patterns. All the symbols that you see

are in fact patterns. You know, encapsulating patterns. And we’re very used to seeing mathematics being used

in physics and engineering. That’s just because

it’s been there the most. You know, E equals mc squared.

That’s so early 1900’s. There’s actually been an evolution. Since the 80’s

we’ve seen mathematics venture into stock market analysis,

risk analysis that was new. And then since the 1990’s or 2000’s even we’re seeing mathematics enter

into the sometimes called Softer Sciences like psychology, sociology,

anthropology, biology. New mathematics appears every day. I brought in a few

just to remind you of how that works. Here’s some latest research. This is looking at antibiotic use and how to implement antibiotics

for tuberculosis while getting the patient healthy, but making sure

that we avoid antibiotic resistance. That came out a couple of weeks ago. And this is looking at how an opinion

spreads through a population. And when will you have the coexistence

of several opinions, or one big consensus. One of my favorites,

it’s older but I couldn’t resist. This one’s from 2009 and this is

how to create the perfect chocolate. One that melts in your mouth

but not in your hand. And yes, these are very sexy equations,

I’m sure you’ll agree. Mathematics is absolutely everywhere

these days; it’s being used everywhere. It really is no surprise that now we’re seeing

the equations for love. Now, love sucks.

I know you all know that. Because, yes, you’re excited at first. But then you’re scared.

Oh, my god. I haven’t eaten. You’re sitting looking at your phone,

“Please ring!” Then they send you a two-word text. And you’re like, “Whoo-hoo!

It’s on like Donkey Kong.” (Laughter) And so these equations

look at which personality traits are more likely to come together to have a more stable

companionship type love because some people they just end up being

up and down continuously. Imagine being in a relationship

with Charlie Sheen. That would be like

well, unlike Donkey Kong and also like this.

(Laughter) It gets a bit out of control —

mathematically quite fast. So just to tell you, it’s about one thing to look out for

is if your partner — if you overestimate

your partner’s qualities. So with partners we can behave

a bit like proud parents. “He’s so smart. He’s so sexy.”

Everyone’s just staring at this guy like (mumbling) Anyway, (Laughter) here’s some more mathematics. Now, men report, on average,

having had sex with two to four times as many women than women do men. And this does not make sense. (Laughter) It doesn’t. (Laughter) I know you’re all thinking,

“But what about prostitutes?” “But what about my ex?

He’s slept with everybody.” No, every time a man

has sex with a woman — there are averages for other things — But in a large enough sample space it’s going to be about the same,

not off like this. So here’s an example. Here’s Charlie Sheen.

He’s had sex with everyone. (Laughter) Then the next guy, only one.

One, one, one. And that forces, you see,

the outcome for the women. The first one’s had one.

The others have had 2 partners each. And 2, 4, 6, 8, 9.

9 divided by 5 and on the right 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

9 divided by 5. Every time a man has sex with a woman it’s adding to the general tally

of both sides. Now, why is this discrepancy? Because the surveys

are confidential and non-identifying, it turns out, if you ask about kinky things,

people are very honest. (Laughter) What we’ve turned to

is we think it’s counting strategy. Because if you enumerate

you’ll be prone to an underestimation. If you approximate

you’ll be prone to an overestimation. So it seems women are going,

“Justin, Brad, the guy with the sexy biceps. The end.” And men are going,

“20 a year for the last 5 years.” (Laughter) You know. My favorite clue in all the data was that 80% of men’s results

were divisible by 5. (Laughter) So, of course the mathematicians are like,

“Yeah, no, you’re lying.” (Laughter) Back to some more waves. Of course, there are waves

in women’s hormones. And these equations look at what kind

of mechanism is in a woman’s body — how does your body know

28 days have gone by? And it’s based on understanding

why women have all their immature eggs at birth ready to go. We hear so much about women’s hormones, so I’ve brought in men’s as well. These are —

(Laughter) These are real.

I’m not making them up. These model the relationship between

the brain and the testes as the fluctuation happens during the day. (Laughter) I promise these are real. Testosterone, for example,

has a peak in the morning. And a slump in the evening. But there’s actually

a mini testosterone peak every 2 to 2.5 hours in between. So, you know what that means.

Especially women. If you ask a guy a favor

and he’s not responding just wait half an hour

and ask again, just try and — (Laughter) just try and get that slump moment. It’s got its purposes. Though the peak

has another purpose as well. Yes, this is all great fun

and I could carry on with fun maths and sex problems for hours. But ultimately, what I’m about

is our amazing brain and the impact of abstract thinking

and the power of abstract thinking. And so let me turn things

a little bit around on you and say, What do you think happens

if you think about sex before doing mathematics? Because it’s actually

not super distracting. You’ll actually become better at doing certain types of brain processes. It turns out there’s two fundamental types

of brain processes. You either think globally or locally. Forest or trees. And when you’re solving a problem, you often start with the global

kind of analysis and then you have to dig in deep

and follow leads to solutions. It turns out that we’re now seeing

with the latest research that this is linked to creative

versus analytical thinking. And more than that we’re finding that it’s actually

very easily manipulated. So, if you get people to think about love

and then solve problems they’ll be better at the globalization, the beginning, the creative part. And if you get people to think about sex they get better at the process

part of the problem solving. Easy as that. And here’s the bigger question

that interests me. What is this thing called mathematics that’s only been going

for about 2,000 years that popped up independently

across the world that so many people swear they can’t do? See, there’s something

that’s not quite reconciling there. You can’t have something

that’s developed so recently with some people

just having an extra brain bit. No, that doesn’t make sense.

It’s about finding those right triggers. Here’s a school report card of mine in French. My parents are these wild, wild travelers

always looking for wild parties. I’m actually the conservative offspring

of some crazy wild people. As you see, we lived in Cannes, whatever.

Great parties there. But more importantly, you can see

two out of 20 for mathematics. And my best result was 15

for Travaux Manuels et Technique. which is woodwork. (Laughter) So it’s very clear to me

what life is like without mathematics. Once I found mathematics at 18

when I came to Australia, it was the first time

that I was connecting to something pure, to something that was so amazing. You see, pattern recognition is right at the core of the animal kingdom. You see, even reptiles recognize whether it’s something

to eat, fight or have sex with. Even a jellyfish knows which way is up

and which way is down. Now the seeds of the number concept are also very much part

of the animal kingdom. A pack of animals will recognize whether another pack

is greater than theirs. And you can actually teach a rat

to press a lever an approximate number of times

to get food. Now, you see how I used

the word approximate. That’s because the rat doesn’t have

self-awareness or a linguistic ability to capture, tame those innate sensations. So if the rat is just tapping three times

1, 2, 3 — it will kind of get it right. But once it gets to 16,

the poor little rat is tapping away it doesn’t know where it’s reaching.

And it’s the same with us. If you do an experiment

where we can’t count out we’ll make exactly the same

mistakes as the rat. We went further. We went to things like 2 + 5=5 + 2. I can swap the order of things

and still reach the same result. We went further still. A + B=B + A I can substitute

any of the infinite number of numbers that I’m now aware of in that formula

and it means the same thing. You see, language is more

than just naming things. With it, we also got cause and effect

and temporal reasoning. Mathematics is our most precise use

of this syntactical understanding. Because with mathematics

at each step that you’re creating the pattern linking discovery,

there’s no ambiguity. It is very precise

what you’re doing at each step, what is in each classification.

True or false. That’s it. In the box or outside the box.

It’s very clear, ultimate precision. And that is why mathematics is so powerful and being used more

often right through to sex. And that’s why it’s so hard

because you’re using the limits of our evolution

right to their extreme. We’re using,

we’re taming those innate sensations with the most ultimate precision we can. Mathematics as you can see, it’s just — what’s so breath taking is that it emerged

independently across the globe. And when people came together

in peace or war they may have clashed when it came

to religion, cultures, languages, but their mathematics,

or pure pattern recognition just meshed. You see, mathematics

lies right at the roots of humanity. Like sex, it transcends human culture. And now that I’ve shared that with you, you are the sexiest ladies in town. (Laughter) Thank you very much. (Applause)

Remember when TED Talks were unattractive men saying smart things?

asstralia

These people are destroying the beauty of mathematics

Top girl. Brains and beauty.

Welcome dear

Nothing original. Moving on

Mathematics is not the study of patterns, maybe econometrics is 🙂

Take your pants off!

It is entirely appropriate that she is wearing those shoes while lecturing on this subject. And no left hand ring. I'm sold. What's her address?

4:26 Women only counts those men they're proud to have slept with, while men even count those women they only wished have slept with.

Very boring

Does she ever start taking her clothing off? And if not, why are we watching this? Because it isn't for her brilliance….

Awesome talk! Thanks Dr. Cresswell!

I only I had a hot maths teacher,…

Vybz kartel do di maths

She is mathemacian or body builder. Ha ha ha.

Biology a soft science… Alright.

1+1=3

Jesus christ put a tshirt on lady

Mathematics aren't basically pattern-recognition; applied maths are largely so.

Mathematics, as she almost said later, are about the precise definitions of entities and the relations between them (like syntax), e.g. 'These are integers, this is addition defined for integers, this is how it's related to multiplication defined for integers, what is a "prime number"; what other statements can we deduce about prime numbers based on these?'.

She's talking more about mathematical modelling—but you can create a mathematical model which is a perfectly valid bit of mathematics but whose relationship to what's being modelled might as well be 'Colourless, green, ideas sleep furiously.'.

After listening to this talk I actually do feel motivated enough to face another try in Analysis ;D

I'm sorry girl, but the skewed numbers aren't because men stretch the truth about the number of partners they've had out of pride. It's because women outright lie about the true number of penises that they have allowed inside them out of shame.

And that's a damned shame.

She knows nothing and talks nothing

one plus one equals three

Title should have been "The vast use of mathematics"

if this lady ever discovered coding….

I bet . She is sigle. Nobody desires her.

Women are bad at math/finance?

If you're thinking about math during foreplay, there's something wrong with you.

you got me at mathematics

Mathematics appeared everywhere 2000 years ago? What about the Ishango Bone? 20.000 BCE it has been found, it seems that it is Mathematics… or the Moscow Papyrus something like 2000 BCE, more than 4000 years ago? Mathematics seem to originate from Africa doesn't it?

That’s a video title I never thought I’d see

And you see

She is wrong about almost everything. For instance, the reason, the number of lovers men claim is divisible by five not because they are lying, but because the just don't remember. So they guess 50,100,200, etc. Nobody will say 49, 102, etc. And of course, the numbers of lovers men and women claim don't match. Prostitutes accumulate thousands and so they raise the male average significantly.

Superb!

In the box or not in the box; what about Schrodinger's cat !?

Didn't get any of it but sounds legit… because she lifts

what a foxy..

Nothing is say

son accent en français est impeccable omg!!!

Some am i the only one with a stiffy after this ted talk she so gorgeous and that accent is to die for

i go for maths now!

very very good conversation…

She shows us formulas for successful marriages (husband and wife). Tells us it's 95% accurate. But tells us next to nothing what is in those formulas. (She just mentions that couples that are egotistical, or don't try to please all the time, are better off). That's it? The rest of the presentation is a motivational talk about why she thinks the mathematics is cool. How about elaborating on what is in those formulas? 50% of all marriages end up in divorce. You have over 8 mln. people that have watched your TED talk. Assuming that all of them are married or intent to be, you could have given a sufficient warning to 4 mln people (minus 5 % ), the unlucky half, that could have learned something. What a terrible presentation.

Waiting for the Mathemasturbation presentation.

Science of the brain and consciousness is a soft science…. bahahah

The line!

I love her

Best gym motivation TedTalk

I dont ant to be sexist here, but this woman dont say anything, her show a equation that she doesnt explain, at the end what i understant that she want to make people know that mathematics are important, people dont know that already?

on her left arm where the bicep and tricep meet theres 3 dots forming a triangle. illuminati. stay safe ppl

why we give the name iota to a squareroot of -1

Memorization is important at the early stage to build up the basis of understanding.

clickbait and misleading title

I don't think until this point in my life that I have ever been turned on by a Woman's Biceps and laterals and others, what a fine specimen of the female gender

Handsome squidward 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I like it very much the woman and it s true thank you smart carol

Clio Cresswell has a beautiful body with dreamy masculine shoulders, arms and hands – perfect for me: a hetero man who always wanted a woman with gumption, a profession, a head of her own, and some physical strength. Unlike Clio, I aced math in school, especially geometry and trig, but have always considered that the best male-female match was signal quadrature, meaning 90° apart, where the strongest signal comes at 45°, 135°, 225° and 315°. I think Clio might just agree with that.

2019??

Girls can do math just fine, but most can't do advanced math, past advanced calculus. That is beyond them. Some of these are Cryptography, Number Theory, and linear algebra.

Great… now I'm gonna get a hard on thinking about math.

Thank you smoking hot math lady.

What is she saying I know I am dum please help me

LOL 😂

Bonjour Clio… Juste un petit mot pour me rappeler à ton bon souvenir… Magic Form, le Taillan Médoc, hiver 2018-2019…

J'oubliais de préciser quand même un peu… C'est le prof de français qui t'adresse ce coucou… Do you remember ?

OX4D NLP BOTTOM LINE

4 04 timer for the speaker

marriage has nothing to do with this.

13 minutes of my life I'm never getting back

How does 2+5=5.?

elaborate the formula please

Thank you! Your Men’s Hormone Equation proves that men are more complicated than women.

E=mc^2 ……. Aaaiiyyyyy aiiyyyyy 😝😝

LOL 😂🤣

The speaker is beautiful, active, smart , attractive, glamorous , charming and bewitching. Figure perfect. Envy of many a woman.

Stop working out old lady

The similarity of her marriage equations to the classic predator+prey equations is very ironic.

Amazing how simple we are only humans are arrogant enough to think they can Know through math how to fk

Ayn Rand proved that concept formation was a mathematical process over 50 years ago. Finally people starting to get close to understanding that.

Ya just keep asking no way every girl is going to say no. It is a number a game.

I wish she would have provided more insight into the mathematics of relationships.

TEDx has stooped low .

Calling out people names ?

and showing some integral calculus slide might look cool .

Nothing informative .

YouTube videos and memes are more informative than this .

Milfmatics

She can be part of my equation any day….

wow your attractive

This the best talk I’ve ever heard if I don’t think about what I’m listening to.

Click bait title.

No ring on the finger. The carousel lives on!

Women lower their number to conform to societal norms and men slightly exaggerate . Duh

Successful and theres how Ws and how many Hs? Already behind guys.

Leave Charlie Sheen alone

95% accuracy rate!!! Women have worked out the law of averages cos the government is on there side man pays for everything in every way in the end regardless women are good at this game looking past attraction and look at$$

Clickbait.

أخبار الشرق الاوسط خصوصا جمهورية مصر وجمهورية تركيا

Huh

I love myself to the square of infinity .

Thanks baby. I wish you were my wife

Women around 40 math,s = 1=1 = a head ache !

Where do you find all this equations ? Amazing

Modern problems need mathematical solutions.

Not very exciting to listen to but nice to look at!