I had a question coming up about inferiority complex. I don’t know if the student can identify themselves or not, doesn’t matter even if you don’t Inferiority complex! Inferiority complex is only with your permission! My wife often shared this incident about her grandmother Her grandmother came along to see her off in the school bus in the morning Due to age, her grandmother had beard.
Her facial hair was growing. As she was ‘Amri- Dhari’, she never removed her hair.
So, she had a beard. And everyday my wife would narrate this incident to grandmother. “Grandmom, you don’t come to see me off because children laugh.. Children laugh after seeing your beard!” You know what she said to her? She said, “Why do you feel embarrassed then?”
Ask them, “if she is your grandmother, firstly?” Secondly, tell them to ask their grandmothers, if she can grow beard? Children laughing Who are you to make me inferior? That is the thing.
You have to understand. If you will give permission, then the whole world will make you much inferior that even if you will become the finest carpet, they will clean their feet and go, And say, “Carpet was not nice! The wool wasn’t of a good quality!” You have to stand up for yourself! “People can only make you inferior with your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ‘You’ give your permission.
‘You’ participate in that process. Yes, I agree, this is true, I have this drawback in me.
And now, everyone will poke you! Now, that does not mean you don’t accept the feedback.
Feedback is a different thing. But if somebody is trying to pull you down and make you feel inferior That does not happen until you give permission.
Let them speak whatever they want to. But you know what is inside me.
Can you see what I can see? Remember that movie, Gully boy, if you watched it? So, he could see it in his mind performing on the stage. The thing is, other people can never even think if anyone living in that slum can be a star! Doesn’t matter, at least, he can see it. Are you able to see your goal?
That is very important. Otherwise, the world is already ready to pull you down. I had a couple of points about inferiority which I may take up in the same video as well combining these two questions together about overcoming hesitation and fighting with inferiority. Stop giving your permission! Take a deep breathe in please and say out loud. “I will stop giving my permission to other people to make me inferior.” Stop giving your permission! “I am a child of God, that’s why. Who are you?
Child of God! How does it matter and from what things does a person feel inferior? One could be metal, glass and rubber. People feel very inferior from this.
You know what is metal, glass and rubber? Mostly promoted by Punjabi singers, it’s combination starts from 3 Lakh and goes uptill 3 crore. Metal, glass and rubber! Car! That is metal, glass and rubber.
What is car at the end of the day? Metal, glass and rubber! What is the difference between an Alto and a BMW 7 series? Both are metal, glass and rubber! One contains more of them.
One contains a good quality of them. If someone brags about his BMW series,
Say to him, “Nice! Nice combination of metal, glass and rubber! But don’t brag much, at the end of the day, it is just metal, glass and rubber. So, relax.
It’s metal, glass and rubber! Labels and logos. Brands!
As if the stamp is not just on shirt but also on my soul! As if ‘I’ became that brand! Some people will make so much effort to make sure if label is not visible. I have seen these folks there back in my college days. Everybody who used to own a pair of RayBan’s,
they made it sure, if they had it in their pocket.. There are two parts to the RayBan’s leather cover, one of which has the logo. So, everybody who would walk into the college would turn it over to make sure that the logo is visible! And if someone hasn’t paid attention, they’ll be like showing off by saying, “look here, brother!” Is that how hollow you are that you need a ‘label’ to validate ‘yourself’! I mean, by all means, I am all in favor of gaining material, wealth and live an abundant life. Nothing wrong with that. Drive the best car!
Wear the best clothes and everything! But your self worth isn’t attached with it, right! Your self worth is not attached with it! The root cause of all this is ‘comparisons’. Comparisons! If you are happy about your marks, you are happy. But suddenly you get to know that someone else has scored more than you. Let me give you an example here. Lets say, the group there on the left hand side, just got the news that everybody scored 90% and above. Happy with that? No? Is that yes or no? Yes. But suddenly you get to know, the people you hate the most in the class have scored 99%. And you will be like ohoo! Give me an answer to this! Did you ever scored 90% earlier which you scored today?
You scored it. You should be thankful for it! Suddenly comparison begins that why he scored 99? And that gives birth to this whole process. Nobody will ever be perfect. Recently, Shah Rukh Khan was attending the wedding of Ambani’s son. Hold on a minute now! You are the ones who participate in everything.
You have checked everything on social media. Then you come to me and ask questions, “how do I split time between personal study and tuition?” Giggles! Stop wasting time on social media first! I am joking. But you see, if the wealthiest man in the world,
I will not use names here. If the wealthiest man in the world were to compare with the most handsome man in the world.. They both are going to be disappointed!
Yes or no? Yes! Handsome man will say, I don’t have the money he has. And the wealthiest man will say, I do have money but I don’t have the beauty he has. You know after a level money doesn’t adds to your happiness! The owner of Berkshire Hathaway,
Warren Buffet! Buffet is the third richest or second richest person in the world. He eats a burger, hamburger everyday. And he doesn’t eat a very healthy diet. He goes for a McDonald’s burger every single day or every second day, I am not too sure! But he eats fast food frequently. He said in one of his quotes, “Even before 100 million dollars, hamburger used to taste the same.. After earning a 100 million dollars, still the hamburger tastes the same.” After certain level those things loose the relevance. But do not do not compare yourself. The problem, if I may continue with the line of reasoning here, about comparison is, the role of social media. The biggest root cause is social media. Do you know what mistake you are committing in it? You are comparing 90% of your life with the 10% of somebody else’s life. The 10% life on Facebook and Instagram is posted after so many selections, filters and after seeking people’s suggestions. Neither he was in his pajamas, nor he was sleeping. He was best dressed and the best shot out on social media. Yes or no? You at your home, having a lazy day, you are not feeling to good, and suddenly you see his photo, And you are like, Oh my God!, what am I doing with my life? Look at this person.
He is living the actual life. Mine is useless. He checks in here and there. I have stopped checking in on Facebook. Because of God’s grace, I get to travel to so many places, so many exotic places. More than half of my connected people’s blood pressure will automatically rise. Okay? Half of them have already stopped calling me and the rest of them who talk to me a little bit, they will also stop calling me. That is why, I have stopped posting check Ins. Still, sometimes, I go to a nice resort, I was at the Oberoi, the Udai Vilas in Udaipur recently. So, I walked in and I took a 360 degree shot and I posted on Facebook. I said, “ Yeah! This will keep you busy for the next three months.” But people won’t realise for how long I was in that resort.
A day! And how long during the day I was actually exploring the resort. Twenty minutes! I was presenting to the senior manager of Tata Steel. Very very important assignment. I was in my room all day! And hotel rooms, after closing the door, The room costing ten thousand dollars also looks the same as the one costing three hundred dollars. So, what happens is, we see a glimpse of someone’s life. We see the glimpse and think that their whole life is like that only. And mine is like this.
This is not the case. So, don’t make this comparison.
Comparison is false. 90% of your life with 10% of someone else. It’s a wrong comparison. Stop making it! This is one of the reason why people are feeling inferior. So, social media is a big contributor. Raise your hand if you spent half an hour on Facebook and logged off and you ever felt better than before? Very rarely happens! Most of the time you spent scrolling Facebook, you log off and you don’t feel very good. You feel the whole world is doing different things and you have to study or whatever be your situation. Right?
That’s a wrong comparison. So, you have to understand this. Never underestimate yourselves and overestimate other people. This is one of the reason why we feel inferior. We systematically underestimate ourselves and overestimate others. What you see is not what actually is!
Remember this! Stop underestimating yourselves and stop overestimating other people. I hope that answers two questions in one shot. Thank you for asking these beautiful questions.