Good morning, John. He sent me out…to buy cookies. And as I left, I saw him press his ear to the ground so that he could hear me, So that he would know, He would know every step I took, and not just that, but every step, everyone on the world was taking. Last night, I had a dream – not that dream. The dream was “Here’s a good idea for a vlogbrothers video: There’s a guy who can put his ear to the ground and hear everybody, including you on your way to get cookies at the grocery store.” *hank noises* This is my stress-relieving, right here, just makin’ the ticky tacky stretch! I’ve noticed that not- Most people don’t call this “ticky tacky.” I’m not sure what ticky tacky is, let me check. “Sleazy or shoddy material used especially in the construction of lookalike tract homes.” So wow, that’s very specific. And now I have read the entire wikipedia page…on Blu Tack. This stuff was created accidentaly, like many of science’s greatest accomplishments. Completely by accident! Just like, uh, NutraSweet? Which is a fantastic scientific accomplishment because it has done so much to… (stutters) …decrease America’s weight! I mean look at this graph of the use of NutraSweet and the weight of Ameri- Wait. Wha- How did that happen!? WhAt’S uP wItH tHaT!?!? I’m fine. I’m fine! We actually just did a SciShow episode on the increasing weight of Americans, and it turns out that if the entire world were the same size as North Americans, that would be the equivalent of almost a billion new people. Wow. So what’s all this stuff that’s going on? I don’t want to talk to much about VidCon because the tickets aren’t on sale anymore and you’re just gonna be sad. But that’s the biggest *frustrated noises* on my head right now, lots going on there. There’s stuff on my lens… *lens cleaning noises* This shirt was given to me by Ningmaster Tom. Up Up Down Down Strange Charm Strange Charm Top Bottom Quark heheheheh I like it when you mix videogames and some other nerdy thing together. I also have that Art History videogame nerd shirt. Ehrm, you mean this one? YETI:
YEEAA I MEAN THAT ONE! Additionally, Additionally Additionally? Additionally! ∀DDI⊥IOᴎ∀⅂⅂⅄ Adishonull..l..ll…. *grunt* I got a new miniature tripod. It’s really small. It came…for free with my new *large* tripod, which is from Ravelli, and they didn’t pay me to say that! ‘Cause no one ever pays me to say anything, people! You wanna pay me to say something? That’d be an interesting…business model. You just like… Give me five dollars and I’ll say anything you want in a vlogbrothers video. Fart fart fart Farewell to the admiralty of Dan… And if you give me ten, I’ll put on my French moustache while I’m saying it. I like how it’s a “French Moustache,” and then underneath that it says “Moustache de Francais” *le hank noises* Who wants a moustache? That good? I think that’s its permanent home. That one’s the best. *chuckles* That’s awesome. Lizzie Bennet. It’s really interesting to me that it has a very, like, exactly the same number of views every episode, which is really rare for a web series. Every episode, same number, like, 70,000 views per episode, which is amazing, but it’s, like, 30,000 views under us being able to pay for the show *laughs* I don’t know why I get too specific here. So if 30,000 of you, you know, just 30,000, wanna go and watch all of them, that’d be great! I’m getting some new business cards for VidCon. Boop! There it is! I do have one more vlogbrothers video to do before VidCon, and I’ll be in LA, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. Cuz this one’s crazy, so I can’t do crazy twice in a row, can I!? It would be…double crazy… …crazy times two… …I’ve never done this with my voice before… …It’s not going well. Okay, the battery light is blinking, I’ve already filled up a whole card, This is going to be a pain to edit, I don’t really know what happened this video, it’s been weird… So John, I’ll see you on Monday.