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Decision to Amputate – Dealing With Other People’s Opinions

Decision to Amputate – Dealing With Other People’s Opinions


Hey guys, it’s Joe welcome back to my channel. Ah It is now September 7th, so it’s just a few more days before the appointment at which we’ll find out some more information about whether or not I’m moving forward with the amputation And I’ve discovered something people really like giving their opinion about My choice and the consensus seems to be that I’m making a bad choice in even considering this at all, like even thinking about it and As much as I would like to say that that doesn’t affect me because it’s my choice, it’s my body it’s my story it does It’s um It’s hard to have people who don’t who haven’t been here for the last half of my life Telling me that I’m Wrong for Considering What could be right for me? I understand that removing a part of your body is really severe And so a lot of people are telling me That’s insane that I would even consider that or that has to be your absolute last resort you have to try everything before that, but it like at what cost and Then I have people um Like Sharing miracle doctor stories and ones that don’t even like relate to my situation and I Know that it’s, the intention is good like they’re trying to help Just got attacked by a puppy. She knows when I’m upset. There’s another puppy too and all the toys they’ve eaten and Anyway, they I know it comes from a good place and wanting to help but then I’ll not people tell me that you know God’s just gonna heal it, you know, you just have to have faith and he’s the big miracle worker and all of this and it’s just hard and I got CT scan results and Those are really depressing to me because I think I let it get to me and the idea that it’s never gonna get better and Part of me is afraid that they won’t Amputate if I decide that that is the best option But I’m gonna do what the doctor say But I also want them to listen to me So it’s just been a weird couple days and I’m letting the words of people get to me so if you’re out there listening I Would I would say that if you have a friend considering something that you haven’t gone through? Maybe try to listen a little more than you speak because it’s hard to have people who literally know two minutes of my story telling me what I should do and what I shouldn’t do and what I should consider and what I definitely shouldn’t consider and Getting a little tired of it, so that’s where I am today Thanks guys. Sending all my love. Appreciate you watching. I’ll talk to you soon

Comments (32)

  1. I would love to talk with you. I am in the same boat as you.

  2. I know you already had the surgery but I just had to make a comment on this video that you shared. It's really hard to understand why people make comments like that when they don't know the pain and suffering that you have gone through. Making this decision is the hardest thing anyone can do and you're not going to take it lately. I am positive that you know what's best for you in your decisions.

  3. I am so sorry you had so many opinions being thrown at you, at least you made the decision for you and you stuck to it. Sending love <3 pS; being attacked with love by puppies is the best! they get more adorable

  4. I kept my amputation very private to me as the few people that knew about it going to happen had many comments and suggestions from counseling to just living with it and the pain just wasn't worth it and wanting to live a pain free life is what I wanted so I kept my plans very close to my family and a few friends. I know they thought they was just trying to help and I did appreciate that but there is no way that I would choose amputation if there was a miracle cure. Been in your shoes !

  5. Before doing that and I do understand try Spiralina for foot issues as needed only it wont prevent recurring problems. You can get it not just as a suppliment. But in some bottled smoothies also. Withany food cure ad protein. Notifications on.

  6. There is no way that anyone can truly understand why you came to the decision that you did. Life is great when you don’t have any pain. Having constant pain is extremely hard, so if removing all or part of a limb gets you out of pain then I do understand. I’m fairly lucky that my pain is limited to my knees. It still sucks to have to deal with any pain at all. Anyway, I support you and love your channel. 👍

  7. This is crazy! I had a relatively minor injury (broken foot) towards the beginning of the year and the constant barrage of medical advice from people who were not medical professionals was insane. I had a fedex delivery guy tell me in the elevator at work how I should treat my foot! I had no idea people would also try to give advice on amputation, but I shouldn’t be too surprised. I heard you mention Denver in other videos—do you live in Colorado? If so, cheers from Denver! Glad to see your later videos and how you’re such a trooper through this. 🙂

  8. Here’s some stuff. First off, I’ve already watched your journey – know your story and know what you decided. I’m not you, haven’t and can’t imagine experiencing your personal journey. YOUR journey!!!! We all face obstacles in our life that drastically vary in intensity with decision making. The world has SADLY become this breeding ground of opinionated toxicity – often with little or no accolades to fairly stem from. YouTube is a place that unfortunately harbors this Petri dish of ugly support, uneducated opinions, and just unnecessary drama.

    I’m SOOOO GLAD and SOOO proud that you saw through that smog and listened to your history, your mind and your body!!! My heart breaks that you had to make the decision you did, but you did what was best for you and that’s all that matters! No other unrelated opinion is or energy should be even allowed in. What you chose to do was beyond brave.

    Im not an amputee. Nor do I know anyone who is or have ever faced a situation where that procedure was even a discussion. So I can’t relate.

    That said, I admire your strength, positivity and perseverance in fighting for yourself. Life is too short not to. Giving up a few bones, some extra muscle and flesh is purely physical matter. Your foot doesn’t define who you are as a person, and if your ailments were jeopardizing your quality of life to this degree, then…..you did good! Live the best life you can! Your foot doesn’t make up who you are or what your soul is. It’s a small compromise for you because you are passionate about conquering the absolute most life has to offer.

    Don’t listen to anyone who’s trying to teach you a lesson or shame you for your decision. You ultimately fought a crazy fight and made a life altering decision to better yourself. You win. Shut he noise out and just be the best you you can be!

    ❤️

  9. I have a friend who lost his leg because of a gun accident. It was pretty bad, muscle tissue being distroied and everything. But the doctors wanted to try and save his leg. Many surgeries. I think he was 14 or 15 years old, and of course he didnt want to go threw all that, so he did have it removed above the knee. I understand why you would rather it just gone instead of more surgries. He lives happily, married with 2 sons now.

  10. I get it. Major back pain for 15 years now. 2 surgery’s, still painful. Somedays I don’t know how I can live much longer with it. You do you. X

  11. Hi, this is Marianna from Italy. I have completely different situation with my health, but I can totally relate to what you say about other people. They talk like if you haven't done enough and it's kind of your fault. They have no idea about they are talking about and have no respect. Thanks for sharing and "teaching". Bye bye

  12. Sounds like your heart has been broken. Opinions abound, Follow your heart. This is now after the fact, but it still applies. Know this: God is not surprised, nor has He surrendered His throne. He loves you far more than any human being, (or even your critters)and He has agonized with you, and He is still holding on to you. Do you trust Him?

  13. I know you already went through with your amputation, but I just wanted to say that God CAN heal, but sometimes it’s his will for other things to happen too, honestly I can see just fine why you went through with your amputation, and I can see why you came to that decision, and that if this was God’s will for you, then let his will be done! So keep on being strong, and positive about your decision, God bless 🙂

  14. People who are saying this stuff are very dumb they don’t know what your pain is

  15. Wah my leg hurts. Boo hoo you are an inspiration to poor kids who lose their limbs in war torn countries or maybe youre just a piece of 💩 yea that’s you

  16. Yeah… I’m sure it was tough to hear that kind of stuff when it was already a tremendously emotional experience. Probably the toughest decision you’ve ever made in your life that you didn’t even WANT to have to make. A lot of people lack empathetic listening skills; the capacity to stop trying to fix and just try to understand and support emotionally. They wouldn’t have said those things if they actually understood but at least you know they had good intentions. Situations like this are certainly uncomfortable to watch unfold and be completely powerless to help or stop the problem, even through video for us complete strangers. I think that’s what makes it so hard to shut up, most people are going to want the best for you. But it’s certainly not impossible or asking too much, situations like this show you who you can truly lean on.

  17. This isn’t the same thing but I get the same comments about me getting a service dog. Try more things, stick it out, have faith! But at what cost? Trying to accept that I need the help and that I’m disabled is already hard enough, let alone when people around you are telling you to do other things. I’m really proud of you for sticking by your guns and doing what’s best for YOU, not other people. 💞

  18. Did the medical staff mention if this would effect your life expectancy?

  19. It seems so easy for others to say things and to assume things about you and your life when they didn't have to experience what you've had to deal with up to this point. I think your more recent videos are proof enough that you've made the right decision, so I hope these comments have subsided.

    Having to deal with unnecessary pain and not having a working joint for half of your life sounds like a lot of time to try all these "other" options, but I think every person has a limit of what they are willing to take and you have reached yours. There is nothing wrong with that.

    My grandpa is dealing with chronic pain in his upper body due to ostheoporosis and he's on strong painkillers. He used to be so bright and accute-minded and had fantastic memory, but ever since he's been on those pills I have only watched him wither away slowly. Worst of all, the pills don't even really work.

    I have seen what pain does to people, so I can understand wanting to cut the hurting pieces off. I know it's something my grandpa would consider as well, if he was hurting in places that could be dealt with in this way. People who've never been hurting or people who've never spent any ammount of time at home with someone who has these levels of pain are never going to understand this.

    I also empathise with your need to have a say in this, because having an amputation because you decided so must have made this whole ordeal easier to deal with in the end, rather than have it be a result of something like an autoimmune disease or an accident. Outside circumstances have forced you to live with a crippled leg and you didn't want something as serious and life-changing as an amputation to be a result of factors beyond your control again. That makes complete sense to me. The people you mentioned in this video seemed too hung up on the idea of cutting a limb off to consider why you've made such a decision in the first place.

    You have been so unbelievably brave so far. Good luck. <3

    I have learned so much from your videos, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to make them.

  20. Off topic and very late to comment but oh my your carpet with all the fluff made me laugh so hard. My dogs do the same thing and it looks exactly like that.

  21. Yeah i have other options to try , no that’s too tiring , I will just go ahead and cut my foot .

  22. There are millions of people that become amputees as the result of accidents, this is no different. Being an amputee will be an adjustment, but certainly not anything that is going to keep you from living life to the fullest!

  23. Even after the fact, it sounds totally rational. I live with chronic back pain, and I know that’s not the same, but I would do anything to get better. I like to sing, and I often have to stand for a while. It makes what I love to do painful sometimes. I don’t understand to your degree, but I get it. It sounds unfair to me that people that don’t know you or understand your pain would think they could tell you what to do. It was your decision, and I support you😋

  24. You are NOT wrong! The people giving their opinion have not had to deal with the chronic pain. I had a motorcycle accident back in 1980. I basically mangled my left leg. Especially below the knee. Months and months in the hospital. Many surgeries. Lots of pain! I begged the Ortho's at Vanderbilt back in 1997 to please amputate my leg! Back then, one couldn't elect to do that. I was in a position back then to do it. Now, not so much. I still look forward to the day that I can finally rid myself of the painful anchor that I've had to drag around for almost 39 years! I am so happy for you!!

  25. ❤❤❤ you are a very strong lady. Good luck in everything you do. Xx

  26. I'm a new subscriber and I'm catching up on your videos. Years ago I suffered from a pinched nerve in my back, it was, for me, the worst pain I ever had. I woke up one morning with the worst headache of my life, and my left hand looked like a baseball mit. My back was screaming, I didn't know what had happened. The night before I had gotten in my car and put my elbow on the doorframe by the window, and I felt something, literally, pinch, i thought no more of it, till the next morning, I had a slight pain there, but nothing debilitating.

    I consumed almost an entire bottle of migraine meds, over the counter, it did nothing. I went to work for a day and a half and couldn't do it, the pain was so bad. Went to the dr, he put me on muscle relaxants, and a painkiller, which i couldn't take, made me too nauseous, and my moods would be weird, probably for the best, I'd probably be addicted to opiates. I cried for ten days straight, no position gave me any relief.

    Long story short, it was the worst two weeks of my life, I knew if that was what my life would be like I couldn't live it. The pain never subsided for the first ten days, I thought I'd go crazy. Let nobody who hasn't suffered chronic pain influence you in any way. I had that for only two weeks, and it was just a pinched nerve, and I couldn't deal with it.

    A by product of the pinched nerve was that for the first six weeks, two during, and four after, I transposed numbers, also I was an excellent speller up till then, now I have trouble spelling, weird, I know. Take care, hope you are well.

  27. I hope all goes well for u eventually. Looking back at this video, it looks like u resented their opinions as you found it hard to believe that they could give u meaningful advice when they had not been in ur situation however, I wonder whether if they had agreed with u, would u have resented the fact that they gave their opinions or welcomed them? Sometimes the people closest to us can see things we can’t; they were trying to help. I can’t say who’s opinion was right, yours or theirs because u have ur whole life ahead of you and still have a way to go. I hope u get to where u want to be soon. I know u will get there at some point and be hiking and running again. You’ve got this! I hope that when u get to that point, there’s no pain and u will be living ur best life ❤️ and can look back and be happy with ur choice. I believe u will x.

  28. Fellow amputee here (only 3 weeks). I have watched several of your most recent videos over the last few months and just recently decided to start from the beginning. I'd just like to say, the pain in your eyes is disheartening. I am so sorry that you didn't have a lot of support when making this decision. But even with the complications you've had since the amputation, it is evident that you made the right choice because you seem so much happier. Much love to you.

  29. What’s crazy to me is, like, do these people think she made a snap decision? Obviously this was thought out. Is it ideal? Nah. But that’s the way things go sometimes. Also, way to not trust God to fix things. That guy is lazy af.

  30. Brave decision, so YOU can live YOUR best life!!! I admire you

  31. I just started watching and I will be here if you need to talk I am here to listen to you sending all my love to you

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