Dealing with Self-Doubt

Dealing with Self-Doubt

Listen, we all deal with self-doubt. It’s not something that’s
ever actually gonna go away with you , so you’ve gotta figure out how are you gonna reframe it? How are you gonna use self-doubt as a tool to motivate you, to make you stay driven, to make sure that, even in those things you’re scared of, you approach ’em with courage. Self-doubt isn’t something you should be upset that you have. I go onto arenas where
there’s 25,000 people in the audience, and I’m backstage, and I have that anxiety,
I have that concern. Sometimes I don’t like my shirt. I have the doubt of, am I
gonna do a good job, today? And I worry about it, too. Everybody has self-doubt. The challenge is, some people think they don’t need to ever have it, and some people are using it as a tool to stop towards their dreams, instead of progress towards their dreams. So here’s four big ideas on how to deal with self-doubt better, so that you can still
go after your dreams. Number one, you have
to reframe confidence. A lot of people say, well,
Brandon, I’m just not confident. I wish I was more confident, I wish I had more fire, I wish I believed in myself more, I just, it’s my doubt. I always worry about
myself, I never believe in myself, I’m always
selling myself short, and I always never give myself credit. I just quit. And maybe, but I think what happens for a lot of people is they just never really learned what real confidence is. It’s like, they’re not
necessarily without each other. It’s not like they’re necessarily
mutually exclusive, right? It’s like, sometimes the truth is, you can be confident,
but still have doubts about capabilities, that makes you real. It makes you a non-egomaniac, ’cause only super egomaniacs have no self-doubt. Only sociopaths lack enough self-doubt. And so self-doubt can be okay. What you have to figure out is, what does confidence mean to you? Instead of worrying so
much about the doubt, what’s the opposite? What’s the other part of that? What does confidence really mean to you? And we did the largest
study that’s ever been done on high performers, worldwide, and what we learned about is,
the most successful people in the world, the way they think about confidence is simply this, their belief in their
ability to figure things out. So it doesn’t mean they
don’t have self-doubt, they just believe, I
can figure things out. Give me enough time, energy, resources, mentorship, support, and
I can figure anything out. And you’ve gotta start believing that. As much as you spend time
questioning yourself, you have to think, okay, can I remember that I figured outthings in the past that I wasn’t prepared for? You’ve done projects in the past, you’ve been in situations in the past where you had no idea how to handle it, but you figured it out. Take confidence in that. Next time you’re going into a situation, and all you can do is think about yourself, think about yourself, think about yourself, and freak out, what I want you to do is to remember all of those times where you
did overcome the doubts, did overcome the anxiety,
overcame the lack of skills, the unknowns,
and you still pulled it off. And there’s been more times, in your life, that that happened, than you give yourselves credit for. Maybe you showed up that one time to school, and you were self-doubting, but people liked you,
and you were just fine. Maybe that one time you went into that project, and you knew you didn’t know how to do it, but by the end of that week, or the end of that
month, you figured it out. You have to have a memory for the things that you did overcome,
as much as you worry about the things that you’re lacking in. Does that make sense? If all of your thought
pattern is always running on, I lack, I lack, I
lack, I lack, I lack, of course you’re gonna
self-doubt all the time, to a degree where you stop. But if you remember, oh,
wait, yeah, I overcame that. Yeah, and I learned that, and I figured out how to do that, and that went just fine, and they were fine with me, and I did okay over there. If you can have that self-talk, remind yourself of all the times you overcame what you did not know, that will be more of a genuine self-confidence
that says, you know what? I believe in my ability
to figure things out. Even if I have some doubts about how it might go, or doubts about how things might turn out, I do know that I will figure it out. Give me enough time, energy, effort, resources, and support, like I said, that’s genuine self-confidence. It’s not like, I know everything. It’s, you know what? I’ll figure it out. And that’s all I’m asking, for you. So even though you have doubts, next time you’re going into that situation where you have doubt, I want you to say, “You know what? “I’ll figure it out. “I’ll figure it out,” and trust in that. The second thing, if you wanna deal with self-doubt, you absolutely
must start entering each day as more intentional of a human, because the issue is, one of the reasons we doubt ourselves, is because we’re just all over the place. Sometimes you’re cool in this situation, but you’re dumb in that situation. Sometimes you don’t do well
here, but you do well here. And what happens is, so many people, they’re going through the motions, or they’re just showing up in life, every single day, and they’re reacting, and because they’re always reacting, they don’t have a character. They haven’t determined, who am I, really? Who am I gonna act like in this situation? Who am I gonna behave
like in this situation? How am I gonna treat
people in this situation? Because they haven’t shown
up intentional enough, and sought to live out that intention, they feel a lot of discord in life. They don’t know who they are, because they just keep showing up,
and reacting to what’s there. But guess what? What’s there is always different. The world is always changing,
people are always changing, situations are always changing, so if all you’re ever doing is showing up and reacting, I guess I’ll
just go through it and see how it goes, you’re never
forming an intentional character. So of course you doubt yourself, because every situation is different, and you can never have certainty in that. But you can have strength inside, if from now on, you wake up every day, and you say, okay, I’m gonna be these three words, today. And you just set the words, you say, okay, I’m gonna be fun, I’m gonna be playful, I’m gonna be kind, and that day, you are fun, playful, and kind. And the next day you say, okay, I’m gonna be patient, today,
I’m gonna be thoughtful, and I’m gonna be appreciative, and you’re patient,
thoughtful, and appreciative. You do that over, and
over, and over again, set an intention for who to be, be that. Set an intention, be that. Set an intention, be that, and you do that, in more
situations in your life, and more days, and more
weeks, and more months, and more years, and one day, you wake up, and you’re like, you’re confident in self, because you know that you can direct your mind, and your emotions, and your body, to be the person
who you really want to be. The more often you do that, the more real, genuine, self-confidence
will come into your life. I think the third thing you have to do, and this is the hardest one, because it sounds so tactical,
but it’s so important, you gotta get clarity,
you gotta get a plan, and you gotta get momentum. What I mean by that’s a lot
of people have self-doubt in their lives, because they don’t have clarity
for what they want. A lot of people wander into a situation, and they have a lot of self-doubt, because they didn’t sit
down and plan it out. They didn’t prepare. They didn’t ask mentors, or model others, or do the research to figure out, okay, I should do a, b, c, d, and e. In other words, if you
don’t know the steps to success, of course
you’ll have more self-doubt. If you don’t have the plan,
if you don’t have the map, if you don’t know what you’re doing, of course you’re gonna
have more self-doubt. So a part of it is just like decide to build a plan, even if you have to ask for help, and say, hey, guys, how would you do this? What would be your first step? What would be your second step? I’m always asking that. Even at this stage in my career, I’m still saying, hey guys, if you’re gonna launch this,
how would you do it? If you’re gonna promote
that, how would you do it? If you’re gonna create this
thing, how would you do it? If you’re gonna build this team, or build that business, what would you do? And I always try to get the map before I enter the woods, so
that I have the steps, I know the path, ’cause if
you can remove the doubt about the path, you’ll have
more confidence in yourself. Fourth big idea for you, and this one’s so straightforward, but I
think people don’t do it, you need to learn versus judge, when it comes to your behaviors,
and your results, in life. So here’s what I’ll have you do to, start a Sunday review, and every Sunday, all I want you to do is sit down, and really evaluate how you
showed up this last week. How did you really show up, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday? What situations did you do good in? What situations did could
you have done better in? What did you learn about yourself? And use that review session not to beat yourself up, not to say I wish I would’ve, could’ve, not to be mad at yourself,
not to stir self-talk that’s fill with self-hatred, but rather to say, okay, what did I really learn about who I am, and what I prefer in life? What did I really learn about what I like? What did I learn about the best of me, and what did I learn about
the go-through-the-motions me? Where did I feel down? Where did I feel confident? And start experimenting
with how you view yourself by better-doing a job
of reviewing your week. I think one reason people don’t have as confident mentality as they should, is because they’re just
barreling through, week after week, after week, after week, kind of blind and dumb to
how far they’ve grown, but if you can, instead of judging yourself, I’m like, I sucked yesterday, you can, every week, have a
real self-evaluation session. How did I do, what did I learn? And in that personal development, where you can look at yourself objectively, without
judging, without being mad, without giving it negative labels, and just go, how did I do? What did I learn, what
could I have done better? Oh, I could’ve done this, and just kind of observe how you’re
going through your life, and then tell yourself, okay, next time, I’ll do this, and next time, I’ll do this, and next time, I’ll do that. That’s a learning mentality
versus a judgmentmentality. A judgment mentality was, I was an idiot. I was stupid. I didn’t like myself. I look stupid. People are gonna make fun of
me, they’re gonna hate me. That judgment self-talk is why you have so little self-confidence, ’cause most people spend most of their time criticizing themselves. Their self-talk is so negative, instead of learning-oriented. And soon as you switch
from a negative standpoint to a learning standpoint,
disappointment goes away, embarrassment goes away,
self-hatred goes away, and you start just learning your way into the new, and strongest, you. So next time you’re
plagued with self-doubt, think of a few of these things. Reframe confidence, don’t think you have to be completely confident. Just say, you know what? I’m gonna figure my way through this. It’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna trust. I’ve figured out things in the past, I’ll figure out this one. Make sure that you start each day, or walk into each situation,
with a little more intention. Who do you wanna be? And live into that, more consistently, because that will start to form your character, that you
can take confidence in. And then make sure you get the plan, you just take those steps,
you get a little momentum, ’cause with momentum comes a
little bit more confidence, and a little more self-assuredness, and then, as always, make
sure you are learning. Keep learning from me, keep
learning from other people. Watch my other videos,
listen to my podcast, read my books, listen to
other people’s podcasts, and books, and just get
yourself in the game of personal development, in a perspective where you’re learning about yourself, and you’re proud of
yourself for that growth. ‘Cause you know when you’re
gonna be the most proud of yourself, when you find real,
genuine self-confidence, is when you are growing at the rate, and the speed, that you truly desire. So keep learning, my
friend, because listen, you’re stronger than you think, and the future holds good things for you. (inspirational hip-hop)

Comments (81)

  1. No Doubt notification squaaad

  2. Amazing video as always!?!

  3. I was having self doubt that if I will ever study in a good University in USA and get Bangalore,India. helped!

  4. Great video, thank you again for sharing a real life challenge that everyone faces.

  5. I really needed this. Thank you🙏

  6. I always figure it out!
    Who am I? Fun, joyful, thoughtful, kind. YES always!
    What I am missing is mapping out my success plan. What I am lacking is organization, and routine. I need the map before entering the woods.
    Reviewing my weakness gave me the answer to moving on, and who I am today.
    I need to surround myself with the correct people, and your one of them.
    Thank you so much, your the best.

  7. This guy is the man

  8. Brendon – you're the only YouTuber that I have my notifications turned on for. You're a true legend and your speeches bring out the best of me. Thanks pal 👍🏼

  9. I recommend his books (the charge , high perf. habits , motivation manifesto).
    Thank you brendon

  10. How does one start planning? We live in a world of rush, react and go along.

  11. Thank you for this. ❤️

  12. self doubt is mentally constructed

  13. I really appreciate those words. Thanks and greetings from Brazil.

  14. Thank you for the video, this is the one that I needed the most.

  15. Loved it Brendon. Thank you very much!!!

  16. Thank you so much sir for this wonderful ideas.
    From last 2months I am following you in YouTube and every day means everyday I listen your voice coz tht makes my day joyful.
    After listening so many times I found my self little more energetic and logical to myself coz I always doubt myself.
    I am from INDIA

  17. Brendon I am not in self doubt but I was really looking for tips to improve my confidence, thanks a lot for this video 👍🏻

  18. Like any other thing in life we need to find a good narrative for self-doubt so that when we feel it, the energy behind it it's turned into positive fuel. The first step is to recognize it when it happens.

  19. I so like Brendon!!.The best self improvement, motivator out there.He really cares, and seems so real…hard to explain….can't get enough of him… :)..Thanks for everything you do for us

  20. Amen.ure a blessing. Thank you. You've change my life's perspective.. I love you sir.:-)

  21. I am so proud of you,

  22. Self doubt can ruin all of the plans you have for your future! Never let it get the best of you 😊

  23. Excellent video, I did the same subject in a video a few weeks ago. Self Doubt really hurts us achieving dreams and so is vital to overcome.


  25. Your speeches motivate me and bring out the best of me.

  26. So helpful🙏🏻

  27. I’ve shared your videos so much because you are such an inspiration. You’ve completely changed my life. Thank you so much for what you do.

  28. “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
    ― Suzy Kassem

  29. This is how to get through any adversity!

  30. Thank you Brendon. This is so helpful.

  31. Thank you Brendon. Extremely helpful! Really appreciate your work— Ideas 2 and 4 are definitely going to be my focus points.

  32. Belief in the ability to figure things out.

  33. I've found perspective has helped regarding self-doubt

  34. Thank you very much Brendon

  35. Great video. I really needed to hear this today. 🙂

  36. Loved this topic! I can figure things out.

  37. Brendon! U r my most fav motivator ❤️❤️❤️ you have an aura that can PUSH someone’s life to be a better one!! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

  38. You have no idea how much I needed this video TODAY!! Thanks!

  39. You're getting greater day by day in your Humanitarian Mission Brendon! Thank you very much for your inspiration! God Bless You man!

  40. Very insightful. Thank you so much for this 🙏

  41. Great video! As always!

  42. Self-doubt is the opposite of confidence. Let’s go back to when we were little children. There was no such thing as self-doubt up until… we started to hear things like “You can’t do that.” “It’s impossible.” “You are crazy for dreaming big.” It’s important to remember the things that we’ve done where we did succeed. Thanks Brendon.

  43. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 🙏

  44. This couldn't have come at a better time in my current life situation. I will apply this immediately. Thanks Brendon Buchard.

  45. I believe in repetition. Train train train 🙂 Adding the fallowing: I like you are saying be kind to yourself.

  46. ❤Thankyou so much Brendon are really doing a great job👍 i juz love all your videos and it was truely inspiring 🙏keep up the good work😊

  47. I just discovered this channel, and in each video I've watched, my mind exploded when you explained things in ways I never thaught of!! How did you find out all these things?!
    Keep up the good work!

  48. Look at the camera,dude,!!
    Keep at it!!!!
    When you come to Lisboa, Portugal, SCREAM!!!!

  49. If i see one hate comment on this vid, i will litterly commit suicide, cause this is such a great video that you only deserve good comments👍

  50. Brendon, One of the most powerful and influential learning points in my life (Yes, IN MY LIFE) was from a talk you gave many years ago, where you shared a story about a student in your class that was failing. You shared how you worked with her on her public speaking skills and little by little she gained both "Competence and Confidence". —- That story was a game changer for me! Thank You! ~ 🦋💕

  51. This channel deserves millions Subscribers Without any more videos, People just didn't discover it yet, This is an unique and real contribution from you. Others channel will die but it will continue forever. Thanks Brendon Burchard!

  52. Thank u for your vlogs – they are my go to, especially when I start loosing focus.

  53. You're genius Brendon

  54. Great information. The 4th point, learn verses judge my behaviors and results in life, especially resonates with me. The idea of evaluating myself daily to learn, instead of judge, is so much more beneficial in self development. Thanks for sharing Brendon.

  55. Much much much love❤️❤️
    Really needed this. Thank you☺️

  56. Watching this video itself is a part of the plan to be better. Thank you Brendon! If anyone has read his books, can you suggest me that'll help to build myself up? I am 23 and a student wanting to pursue MBA.

  57. Love this . Learn don’t judge . God is my judge

  58. My boss puts me down all the time to the extent that I started doubting myself. Until now I knew my worth but now I keep asking myself "Have I ever been good at what I do?". What to do in such a situation?

  59. do you drink coffee

  60. That moment when you place cameras so well that you don't make your audience intimidated.

  61. The first time i saw your high performance habit book ads I thought: Ugh, another motivational garbage seller lol. I apologize for that because you really have a lot of offer. I bought your books and I'm watching your videos and I really really feel a change. Eventhough I'm in my first steps but I'll keep going. Thank you

  62. You really have got a MAGICAL AURA

  63. You aren’t so active in YouTube

  64. Wow. I’m a reactor.

  65. Love this! Love the reframe on Confidence AND getting out ahead of self doubt by living intentionally

  66. Thanks so much for this!
    I am constantly judging my reactions emotionally and thoughts, therefore doubting my abilities and intentions constantly.

    Thank you for all you covered in this. The thing that stuck out most was probably the first and fourth way of dealing with self-doubt. However, all these things are equally key to changing.

    Thanks again! I’ll definitely try these things out 🙂

  67. Thank you very much, Brendon, I just started watching your videos and I must say that you are one of the greatest motivational speakers .. keep up the good work <3<3

  68. Brendon, I find your presentations on personal growth help more with changing the way I think better than anyone else I've found. Thank you so much for the free personal growth series. This is the stuff I need to learn, so that I can grow and make a difference and you are really making a difference in my life and the lives of others. I sent links to The Brendon Burchard Show on self doubt to my neicez, I hope to make them followers of The Brendon Show. Thank you from the depths of my heart. Your presentations are treasured gems.. 0:) B

  69. Great video! Thanks a lot for it.

  70. I love it. It is the best video I have watched so far. So much to learn. Specially about weakly self evaluation.

  71. You are definitely in the top videos of personal stronger development for me. A huge THANK YOU !! Brenden.
    Every video is food for the mentality for the brain & soul. 👏🙄😃I❤ it!!

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