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Dealing with Polygamy | Asher Intrater

Dealing with Polygamy | Asher Intrater


Hi friends, I want to talk to you about a
strange issue, which is dealing with polygamy. What is polygamy? Is when a man
has several wives. this is not your normal subject but actually we’ve had
pastors turn to us from those from Muslim areas of those from in Africa and
from other areas of the world saying what do we do we’re having a revival
people coming to faith what do we do when someone comes to faith comes into
the church comes into the congregation he has several wives how do we deal with
it well I want to start out with little
humility and say I’m not totally sure but I think to help out I want to give a
few biblical principles about how I would suggest to deal with it the first
one is to note that it’s it’s complicated why because we believe in
covenant loyalty well this covenant loyalty mean you want to be loyal to the
second and third and fourth wife or just loyal to the first wife and get rid of
the second third you might have kind of have conflicting values there so we want
to start off and say whenever there are problems the first step is humility
repentance crying before Lord asking him and so in all these cases let’s start
both for the pastor’s dealing with it and the people who are coming from that
situation let’s start out with repentance and humility the second thing
is let’s not forget that the gospel comes first because until someone knows
that God loves him and Yeshua died for their sins and that you can be born
again totally changed on the inside outward Christian and judeo-christian
values don’t help so we want to always start with the love of God and the
message of the gospel to help someone to be born again and then be able to look
at the topic once we’re dealing that with the gospel of salvation the love of
God has been clearly established then we want to have direct Bible teaching Jesus
taught very clearly in Matthew 19 that God’s purpose is for one man and one
woman to be married that is his ideal so let’s teach that clearly we’re only
talking here about people who’ve come from a pagan background and come to
faith already we’re not talking about permitting polygamous weddings inside
the congregation and we’re not talking about letting someone be in
because that’s all that is just one one man and one woman and we won’t teach
that clearly that we are against in general polygamous marriages and we also
want to hope that if we teach that that this is not the will of God that will
begin to affect the society around us the government around us if there’s a
revival fairly shortly Society can change and those habits and laws of
permitting polygamy can be can be changed and come into more of monogamous
society which really any successful society today in moral society would
believe in it so we believe for social change and social impact I also want to
say that when you show was dealing with that issue in Matthew nineteen he was
talking about divorce and the estimate said oh why does the Bible say there can
be divorce you sure said it was not God’s perfect will for there to be
divorce but Moses allowed for divorce because people’s hearts were hard in
other words you have to know what your ideal standard is but you also have to
have rules that you can live by so I want to say it’s not something
unbiblical to how to look for a workable solution we want to maintain our perfect
values perfect moral and spiritual values and standards and yet at the same
time recognize that we have to provide workable solutions for people coming in
now let’s try to deal with that situation I was trying to think through
scriptures how to deal with that in in Isaiah in Ezra chapter 10 you see that
people were dealing with pagan marriages and they said what what should we do and
they said this is going to take time to look at each case so the first thing I
wanted to say is that that each case needs to be looked at individually each
family each marriage each polygamist situation from different even villages
different cultures and have different meanings and so you have to take it case
by case scenario you have to do investigation research and sort of a
trial for each person in each case that’s already making a big difference
because you’re willing to look at the situation at hand once you look at each
case you have to have somebody to take care of it now if the government is
already willing to handle it in their courts
and they do that morally you can trust them but if that’s not the case and you
have to do something within the congregation within the church what you
can do is set up a Judicial Committee maybe just three people to handle that
and this is taken from first Corinthians chapter 6 which says if you’re having
problems particularly on sexual issues set up somebody to judge it anybody but
the elders should approve someone to or a group of people to handle it so you
say we’ll look at each case separately and we’ll have a Judicial Committee to
investigate and analyze the facts of this situation and try to come to a
decision now the purpose of any kind of judicial procedure this is an important
concept to understand is to protect the innocent
in polygamous marriages the innocent in this case or the weak would be the women
and the children and was that’s what you’re asking
you’re asking how can we protect the women and children and in different
societies different villages that could be a very different issue so you need to
say but you always look and say how can we protect the women and children here
that protection could be morally sexually financially socially
psychologically we want to say what can we do the best for the women and
children involved now I would say this is kind of trying to get to the end
there you basically have two options if there would be no permanent damage to
the women and children and they can be set free and the women and children can
find another workable option to live by I would say it’s preferable to bring an
annulment to the polygamous marriages set them free if they can have another
living situation that will not harm them and then the second thing is but if
they’re in a situation where the women and children would be severely damaged
by breaking up that previous polygamous marriage situation and they choose to
stay in it then you shouldn’t force them to to drive them out and and to another
marriage I would call that a possible compromise preferred would be the
annulment if there’s no damage but if there would be damage then the second
option would be a possible compromise now a and we
see that in the for instance in the case of slavery in Deuteronomy 15 they said
well if you can let them free let them free but if he chooses his stay part of
it let him say part of it we also see that in 1st Corinthians 7 about an
unbeliever who wants to leave the marriage you have to force him to stay
you can let him go but if he chooses to stay let him stay in other words so the
choice of the partner does have something to do with it and lastly I
would say this is that when a decision is made it should be clearly written
down because one of the problems for the women and children is that it gives them
an unclear social status when they come from a polygamous background and come
into a congregation you want elders to look at it each case separately
understand the moral principles involved and when they come to a decision
write it down so it’s clear so we make the best case scenario and that’s for
people in the past when we’re looking to the future of course only monogamous
weddings and only people to have a demonstration of monogamy and their
marriage can come into leadership in the congregation well it’s a complicated
situation I try to make it a little simple hope these principles were of
benefit to you

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