Dealing With Difficult & Annoying People

Dealing With Difficult & Annoying People

Difficult people can show up in many different
forms. Some do all the talking, cutting people off
and talking over others, never actually listening. Some are lazy, messy, or unreliable. And others just have to get the last word
into every conversation. Difficult co-workers may constantly demean
what you say and try to make you look bad, while striving for power and the boss’s
attention. We are often placed in the situation where
we have to deal with difficult and challenging people, and having to interact with these
people can lead to stress and anxiety, and drastically affect your mood. If you’re working with anyone long enough,
you are sure to encounter some conflict as you find a difference of opinion. If you don’t deal with the situation, it
will most likely get worse. Difficult people can be especially tough to
deal with effectively, if your self-confidence and self-esteem are low. The more you build these, the easier you’ll
find handling the situations you might find yourself in. So let’s look at a few strategies for dealing
with these situations effectively. The most important thing is to keep your cool
and not be reactive, no matter how animated the difficult person may be. By practising self-control, you can avoid
escalating the encounter, and will be able to use your better judgement to diffuse the
situation appropriately. If you feel your blood boiling and think you’re
about to burst, try taking a deep breath and counting to ten. This small amount of time can really help
your emotion settle enough to stop an outburst. No matter how senior we may be in an organisation
or where we sit in the pecking order, we are all influenced by an emotionally-driven brain. The effect of this is that when we are in
a conflict or perceive danger, the brain releases adrenalin and cortisol, which cause the body
to be hyped for a fight or flight response. Our ability to analyse subjectively, think
clearly, and respond calmly are completely compromised. Another great diffusing tactic is to shift
the focus back on the difficult person. Often these people will be pointing the finger
at you, in an attempt to make you feel belittled and inadequate. Their entire emphasis will be to blame you
and your behaviour, pointing out the problem without providing any constructive solutions. This stance is purely from a position of wanting
to exert control and dominance over you. If your response is defensive, you are only
giving the difficult person the upper hand and letting them feel power and control over
you. An effective tactic to shift the focus and
equalise power in the exchange, is to ask constructive questions. Keeping calm and directing the focus to what
that person might consider to be an effective solution, will direct your response to a proactive
one rather than reactive or defensive. This strategy can really neutralise their
dominance over you, by redirecting the conversation, and you are attempting to take the lead for
part of the exchange. When you’re not asking them questions in
return, actively listening to the difficult person’s tirade will set the scene for you
to take control in the coming moments. If you zone out and appear to not be giving
them your attention, they will only press harder and more aggressively while pointing
fingers at you. Using good active listening will show that
you fully understand what they believe is a drastic issue, and then you’re in a position
to take control and look for a solution. Active listening involves:
– Actually listening to their words, rather than cutting them off or disagreeing mid-sentence
– Nodding your head to acknowledge that you understand what they are saying
– After they’ve made their point, repeat back the gist of what they said, from their
point. Obviously this can come across sounding stupid,
so you need to use a bit of common sense to summarise what they’re getting at as you
address their complaint – And again, ask questions to show that you’ve
been listening. After applying these techniques, the difficult
person will be more likely to feel that they’ve been heard and that it hasn’t gone in one
ear and out the other. That way, you’re in a better position to
shift the power of the conversation and put the spotlight back on them. Be extremely mindful of your body language. An interesting statistic to keep in mind here,
is that only 7% of communication are the words that you’re saying; 38% is made up of your
tone of voice and expression, while 55% is your body language. A quick way to further anger a difficult person,
is to display body language that says you don’t even want to hear their problem. Try to face them, while keeping your arms
open. Being closed up with arms crossed can show
that you are not open to their point of view. Being curled up and facing away can display
a lack of confidence in yourself – giving off the vibe of a weaker person. Think predator vs. prey with these difficult
people, but rather than fighting, you’re using subtle communication techniques to shift
the power of the conversation and ultimately disarm them. Now in some situations, you may initially
have a great relationship with the person in question, but they are being difficult
over a specific issue. There are two factors that make up a conversation:
The topic being discussed, and the relationship between the people having the discussion. Not being able to separate the two can lead
to conflict and a breakdown in the relationship. By separating the person from the issue and
keeping it from being personal, you will have a better chance of encouraging cooperation
and keeping the respect of that friend. And always keep in mind – you may be your
difficult person’s difficult person… As these techniques are essentially communication
tools (because we’re discussing how to deal with and diffuse difficult people, not punch
their face in, right?) – it is extremely beneficial to take each one of these difficult
situations and turn it into a learning experience. This way you are fine tuning your skills at
handling these situations and will become more adept in the long run. As exhausting as it may be trying to deal
with a difficult person, asking yourself “what can I learn and take away from this experience”
will help you gain at least one positive outlook from the encounter. One of my favourites, which can be EXTREMELY
effective if used well and by the right person, is to inject some appropriately placed humour
into an exchange with a difficult person. By not being reactive, but finding a humorous
side to the conflict, you are able to show detachment from the issue, and help to disarm
the emotion of the other person. Of course, using inappropriate humour can
have the opposite effect, so tread carefully. Humour really is a powerful communication
tool, which can bring out the truth and opinions, while remaining cool, calm, and collected. If your difficult person is somewhat of a
bully, this can relate back to your self-confidence – and you should check out our Ratalyst
video on self-confidence for further detail on the topic. Bullies will tend to target people who they
see as being weaker, and without much self-confidence; you may be displaying a weak exterior to those
around you. Keep in mind that bullies are generally cowards
and weak on the inside themselves, displaying a strong, over compensated exterior to make
up for their shortfalls. Often when someone stands up to a bully and
exerts confidence, the bully will back down. The important thing to keep in mind is that
their reaction and behaviour is usually about them, far more than it is about you or anything
you’ve done. If you can manage to have empathy for the
bully, you are opening your perspective on the situation, and have far better judgement
in what to do next. Compassion is an attribute of the strong and
evolved, and it allows us to see deeper inside an issue and the person involved. Here’s a quote from Tom Hiddleston to keep
in mind: “When people don’t like themselves very
much, they have to make up for it. The classic bully was actually a victim first.” – Tom Hiddleston. Of course, there are many times and situations
where all the techniques in the world may not be of any assistance. In these instances, you may just have to walk
away if necessary. Don’t sabotage your career, but completely
walking away and having as little to with that person is an option. Sometimes these people can drag you down with
them into negativity, and there’s nothing wrong with removing yourself from this environment. Dealing with these people can leave you exhausted,
and carry over to your home life. In this case, it’s not about winning an
exchange, but removing yourself from that toxic environment. Being adept at dealing with difficult people
is really an exercise in mastering the art of communication. By developing these techniques, you will find
that many difficult people have less of an effect on you, and you stand to exert your
own dominance and confidence, with less stress and better relationships with the people around
you. You are on your way to being the change, and
greater success in life. These are the strategies of leaders!

Comments (100)

  1. why in the hell us all the difficult people in the cartons are bkack?๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ 

  2. I search this video cause I am dealing with difficult people and they all white๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

  3. Superbly constructed information and videos…very effective and user-friendly.

  4. sometimes some people just need punch in the face

  5. I'm very very dangerous to bullies, they often underestimate me , and it becomes fun then, but the problem are critisisers and people who talk down and think they are smarter and know everything.

  6. This is a really useful video…thanks for sharing ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. It really helps me a lot. thank you ๐Ÿ˜˜

  8. Thank you for all your words, positive uplifting ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. My father is difficult person, and i am obliged to live with him.

  10. If you ask "how do you think this should be done? and the difficult person says a bunch of stuff you cant do, what do you say then ?

  11. It's harder when the difficult person is family you can't just shut them out

  12. My entire family and myself are difficult. But this does help a lot thanks! ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. How to deal with difficult people?.. slash their tyres ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜ƒ

  14. I am in customer service, owner of a company with 5 emplorees, there are few very difficult people each year , I always listen, care and explain to them, try to resolve their problem, however in the end I found out these people have some issues with their personal life, no matter how hard I tried, they were not happy…. Customer service is just a job like all other jobs, customer service does not mean we have to live in a life with no dignity , no quality, making people think they can use me or my employee to vent out, abusing us, I will be the one handle these situation as I feel I need to get in as company owner, i will do all we can to stay calm, we will stop to service or resolving the issue to that difficult person till they apologize for their attacking, abusing, customers are important, so are employees, life is too short to serve these people…furthermore it is not productive to serve these people, company or you person life will go down to hell with these people around you….

  15. What's up with Kevin Spacey face on this video. Is he really that hard to get along with? What happen to that soft spoken American Beauty guy? I think know? He smoked a lot of that super expensive weed from his neighbor and he finally got the opportunity to tap his daughters girlfriend. Oh yah baby!

  16. How do you not have more subs? The sheer quality and presentation in your videos is top notch!

  17. There's this kid in my class whose really annoying. He's one of this kids that thinks he's really cool and ahead of everyone in every way. He used to be my acquantance but as soon as any argument arose amongst us, he used the information I gave him as a secret against me. I took advantage of the trust I gave him. He constantly pushes people down. Making fun of people's nationalities, accents, height, weight, appearance, grades, "intellect" and just insulting them in any way he can when they pose some sort of a threat against him for example in an argument. He embarresses people to look good in front of girls. It frustrates me so much. He snatched my friend's pencil case and threw it up the stairs and then told him to fetch it. "Come on Martin, fetch it come on boy" was what he said. I told him my crush, the next day in Drama class me, him my crush and another girl are in the same group: The second I disagree with his attitude toward our work (He was lying down ignoring the task we were given, he didn't even do the required homework for the groupwork) he says out loud " James shut up, don't make me tell Isabella about your…" so she could here. That tore me apart. I wanted to defend myself but I just couldn't, not in front of her. I knew he would just spill everything he knew about me against me. I don't know how to deal with him. He is being an ass every single day to me. Someone please help me. give me advice talk to me. i need someone to talk to.

  18. I can say AMEN for your knowledge and guidance,…VERY useful thank you for sharing

  19. Whenever someone at school tries to annoy me I always want to punch them right in the throat so bad lol๐Ÿ˜‘

  20. What about a vindictive boss who intentionally makes your life hell?

  21. I point finger and said I will take this matter to the managers, when she told me " you are an idiot" she told me this with smile and I dont have anything to prove it. I dont wana deal in such a situation.

  22. Really helped. There are some people that just don't seem to have any empathy whatsoever.

  23. I have this friend who is annoying as hell and she doesn't ket me talk. She always tries to act cool. I dont want to be her friend anymore but its hard to break up.

  24. I try to stay away from difficult people as much as possible, however if it's a work situation I just try to deal with them, I try to count to a hundred in my head and take a deep breath.

  25. Carry over to home….shoot for some it is at home!! Torture lol

  26. This sounds more like how to be annoying or difficult by treating every conversation with differing opinions like a battle. Some tips are okay, but things like body language should always be taken into account so you don't come off as rude or uninterested. This video should be more about how to effectively communicate your point versus "how to deal with difficult or annoying people".

  27. My relatives r the most difficult nd annoying ppl acc to me.

  28. This video can't help ME

  29. its hard when the 'toxic /negative people' are your parents

  30. Why can't we just choose to die and not deal with it anymore

  31. My Uncle is a very diffcault person . i try my very best to aviod him becuase…just becuase

  32. You are awesome you made me confident now I am gonna face it

  33. Thank you I really need this my step siblings are really annoying ๐Ÿ‘

  34. (If you play C.O.D Advanced warfare) in the thumbnail, that was Irons, Mitchell's best friend's dad a.k.a evil person

  35. I cant stand Annoying people…. Thats why i dont deal with them…

  36. why are all the difficult and negative people black? You keep saying "these people"

  37. I deal with conflict by showing them this video!!

  38. Stupid, If you failed to do some thing, it is not the other person's responsibility to correct your mistakes, You should admit fault and rectify it, if I catch a employee following this I would fire them.

  39. Control freaks are everywhere these days. It shows they are broken people but bluff a tough exterior.

  40. im just trying to find a video in the thousands and be the LIKE that changes the decimal like from 1.8K to 1.9K that is my goal

  41. Humor works sometimes and it depends on the people.not everybody has a sense of humor and then some people especially narcissists or those with low self-esteem or some kind of a mental problem get easily offended. they think that you're attacking them, or everything is about them. so humor can only work in some situations

  42. Self confidence is key
    Keep your cool
    Practise selfcontrol
    Analyse objectively
    Shift the focus on the difficult person by asking constructive questions: what is the solution?
    Actively listen, listen to the word, nodding head, repeat what they said, ask questions.
    Bodylanguage, arms open, eye contact
    Tone of voice
    Seperate the person from the subject
    Become skilled in handling, what can learn from it
    Put a little appropriate humor in
    Manage to have empathy, compassion
    Sometimes better can walk away if its a toxic environment for less stress

  43. Difficult people are difficult because we allow it. Stop unable them and they will be powerless.

  44. Yep, I'm one of them.

  45. One thing I do to someone who shouting is whistle the Laurel and Hardy tune,,it drives them mad,,then say be carefull you will have a heat attack,,

  46. When I was dealing with difficult would be customers who were raving on the phone,
    I would leave the phone on the desk, carry on drinking coffee until they shouted,,,
    Then I would yes sorry what we're you saying,,
    This is a good thing to do with foreign call centres

  47. Does anyone here think arrogance is a cover for massive insecurity? Are over-confident people just weak on the inside?

  48. so on msy volleyball team theres this one girl who shows off ("is this good?" clearly to show everyone how great she is. we do a drill where we line up, thee people go on the ten ft line, and pass to the coach , then go to the end of the line and the person at the front yells "gotcha!" and runs into paly. i have adhd and i zoned out. she pushed me and i was sexually abused so touching me, no no. also as i was yelling gotcha she yelled "you need to yell gotcha!" i have to deal with her all season (2 months). practice just started today. smh

  49. Annoying people are everyone in my class

    Isn't that dandy

  50. Just kick there ass

  51. I'm always the bad person so it's like no matter what I say no matter what I do how I try to communicate it doesn't work so it's a lot of crap

  52. One thing I did to two arse holes I set rumours around they had passed away they were no friends of each other but did it in a way that it could not be blamed on me,,

  53. I had a brother who was nasty to me all my life.. I'd had enough the other day… I walked off… I don't want to know him any more.. he always has a nasty nature…. that cannot be changed….

  54. I'm the type of person who prefers to shut it down before it gets started , so i find getting away from the entire situation the wisest thing to do and at the same time they shall have no excuse if they keep coming after you

  55. Gurrt I don't give a fakk sum of da cups are sexyassfk n sum cups r ennoyen dnt take it prsnl

  56. No one ever will do this.ย  Yet its a nice cartoon.

  57. This is what Phyllis watched when dealing with Angela

  58. ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ™Œ

  59. LeT NATURE DEAL WITH THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  60. I was forced to watch this by a difficult person ๐Ÿ˜‰

  61. My parents are very toxic.

  62. My mom and dad are the most difficult people I have met in my entire life

  63. I can't even cut these motherfucking covert people off. I swear Lord Jesus, they all have twins!!!!! And I don't even know there names. ๐Ÿ™„ God I can't stop feeling totally trapped.

  64. This is really good stuff. Very helpful and practical.

  65. Let's see if this works on my girlfriend and her mom….


  66. Excellent Video!!!

  67. My worker, and my dad always say I donโ€™t know or not caring to answer me , Iโ€™m feeling worthless I feel like that I screwed up feeling like everything is my fault i used to be a leader but not anymore I donโ€™t feel like they like me as much as they used to

  68. This is amazing piece of information. Thank you so much for this.

  69. Thanks buddy, according to my experiences difficult people works in group also they often have a well organized team and they are selective they select individual or their victims carefully.

  70. My close friend annoys me a lot to get my attention idk what he thinks but its destroying my respect for him

  71. Always best to try and keep cool and calm and donโ€™t let them get to you

  72. Some times people are just MEAN! There is nothing you can do about that but to simply walk away and leave their own fire burn them down!

  73. If you make them feel stupid on a regular basis they will say you are the aggressor and make you out to be the a-hole.

  74. It also helps to be a tall white man as far as employment here in the states goes.

  75. The best way to deal with these cunts is to watch this video & other videos that can accumulate your best knowledge to counter > C U N T S

  76. I dont like relating to them … i find it very difficult to react to them in a calm manner.

  77. Sorry, no empathy for bully at all, they should be well aware of the consequence if they wanna bully

  78. If only i could wrestle the idiot i want to die…

  79. What if my enemies use the same strategies?

  80. I deal with emotional abuse.

  81. When they ask u a question u say no they ask u the same question u say no again My father is a bully

  82. I have a guy in my soocerteam that in practise Always yells to everyone (especially our coaches) how good his team is playing just to make himself and his team to look good and at the same time makes us look bad if we dont have focus at the moment

  83. thanks so much i am 10 years old and theres this annoying kid i have to see today and hes almost inpossible to talk to.
    somtimes i just wanna punch him in the face but ill try this thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

  84. Came here because of people who don't value punctuality. Thanks!

  85. I Personally would Prefer to deal with Difficult People over those that would Punch People in the Face!,
    It is okay because Life can become Boring with Overly Nice Types who try way too hard & drain others energies,
    Life is relatively Short & you can't be Nice to everyone & We have to select the Types we want to Socialise with!,
    People get Shot, Stabbed, Raped etc so somebody not being as Nice to You as You would like is not that big a Deal Really!.
    In Fact I think that if Someone gives You Bad Vibes it Helps You Quickly Reject them & move onto other Better Quality Human Beings.

  86. subscriber here

  87. Lot of cunts and morons out there.

  88. I'm at the stage where I'm drained physically by carrying a lazy colleague. We have a bailer at work, I might drop him in.

  89. Lol, all people are annoying (myself included). How we deal with another annoying person comes down to how we're feeling when around them. I.e. if irritable then they'll obviously piss you off and have you daydreaming of chopping them in the throat..if you're feeling relaxed and chill then you usually don't pay much attention to an obnoxious person.

  90. โ€œYouโ€™ve really screwed this upโ€
    says while smiling

    (Sounds like me XD)

  91. There is difficult, and then there is a narcissist. There is no dealing with them because they are constantly projecting their own deficiencies and low self-worth on to the world around them. Best thing to do is use the gray rock method which is to respond and not react and be as boring as possible to them. Keep your distance. Answer questions with yes or no. And ask closed ended questions. Whatever you do do not cross them. If you have any empathy for them at all it is to recognize that they are broken and under developed people themselves. They were either born that way or made that way. In both cases they are living a false self and they need you to help them keep up appearances. Look out when the mask slips.

  92. A bully use to make fun of me and criticise me thank god I manage to keep my cool if not I will punch this person face pretty hard…๐Ÿ˜‚

  93. And a kick on their backside because they will not understand without it

  94. Don't take them seriously. Don't give so much importance to them. They are not God to rule everyone. Do what you think is best and rationale for that situation. In a family, worplace, friends circle or even spouse, we all have our boundaries. No one has the right to over rule anyone. In a family or in any organisation, we all are inter-dependent including the highest person in the hierarchy. First learn how to lead and negotiate with diplomacy. Rather dealing with difficult people, we do it the other way round. WE TEACH THEM how to behave to others. Keep your nonsense with you. If you want to work with me or communicate with me, there are certain things to follow. The rule is "IF YOU ARE NICE, I'M NICER. Start with you.

  95. Just draining daily at work and repetitive. Even when you think this person finally feels heard they start up again whenever they feel like it.

  96. I have 2 coworkers, one I work with Vincent old white man other 3pm 2nd shift Matt tall brown skin man – this guy Matt makes mistakes tell other workers that im the blame for it ??? (He sounds dumb thatโ€™s like blaming driver instructed for running red lights and driving over the speed limit ) heโ€™s wrong and he did it 2 times and white man name Vincent not doing nothing like he doesnโ€™t care he says Iโ€™m right but heโ€™s wrong – but why stand there and talk with him if heโ€™s wrong…..thatโ€™s y I donโ€™t like country people no good always problem not safe talk like children ๐Ÿ‘ถ

  97. Before I go to school my mom always tell me stay calm

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