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Chappelle’s Show – The World Series of Dice – Uncensored

Chappelle’s Show – The World Series of Dice – Uncensored


GOOD EVENING
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND WELCOME
TO THE MARCY PROJECTS HERE IN BROOKLYN,
NEW YORK. WHY ARE WE HERE? TO BUY WEED? NOT THIS TIME, BILL. NOPE, EVERY ONE KNOWS
WE’RE HERE FOR ONE REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY. WE’RE HERE
FOR THE EIGHTH ANNUAL WORLD SERIES OF DICE. WELL, THAT’S RIGHT, ROB. SOME OF THE GREATEST PLAYERS
FROM AROUND THE WORLD HAVE GATHERED HERE TO
COMPETE FOR THE GRAND PRIZE: ONE ANOTHER’S MONEY AND BRAGGING RIGHTS
FOR THE WHOLE YEAR. LET’S MEET THEM,
THESE KINGS OF CLICK-CLACK. FROM KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI,
LEGENDARY SHOOTER GRITS N’ GRAVY. GRITS N’ GRAVY. KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI. FLYING IN FROM
THE FAR EAST IS PHYUCK YIU, ONE OF THE PREMIER
DICE PLAYERS IN THE EASTERN HEMISPHERE. HE HAS PLAYED DICE IN SOME
OF THE GULLYEST OF GAMES. PHYUCK YIU. KONICHIWA, BITCHES! DROP THE CARD, BABY! AND THAT’S
LEONARD WASHINGTON. YOU KNOW THEY SAY, “PAPA DIDN’T
TAKE NO MESS.” WELL, NEITHER DOES LEONARD. MY NAME’S
LEONARD WASHINGTON. WHERE I’M FROM? A LITTLE TOWN CALLED “NONE OF YOUR
GOD DAMN BUSINESS.” LET’S PLAY
SOME DICE, BITCHES. AND FINALLY,
FROM THESE VERY PROJECTS, LOCAL LEGEND ASHY LARRY. WHY DO THEY CALL HIM
ASHY LARRY? WELL, THERE’S YOUR ANSWER. ASHY LARRY. MARCY PROJECTS. MARCY, SON.
WHAT. OKAY,
LARRY GETS FIRST ROLL. LET’S SEE HOW HE DOES. THAT MAN IS DRIER
THAN KUNTA KINTE’S ANKLE. COME ON, LET’S GO. I STOLE THIS MONEY
OUT OF MY GIRL’S PURSE. SHE THINK I’M OUT
EMPTYING THE TRASH. COME ON, BABY,
I NEED THIS. WHAT YOU NEED
IS SOME CHAPSTICK AND A SET OF TROUSERS. ROLL THE DICE,
YOU ASHY MOTHER FUCKER. START THE GAME. ALL RIGHT, BUT I’M ABOUT
TO GO FROM ASHY TO CLASSY. [moaning] OOH, AND JUST LIKE THAT,
ASHY LARRY IS ELIMINATED. OUCH. SHE GONNA KILL ME.
KEISHA GONNA KILL ME. LARRY, WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING? I WAS–OKAY, REMEMBER,
I WAS EMPTYING THE TRASH– AND THAT BETTER
NOT BE THE MONEY OUT MY GOD DAMN PURSE! I WAS–OKAY, REMEMBER– PICK THE SHIT UP
AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. THAT’S JUST WHAT I’M
TRYING TO TELL YOU! I WAS JUST TAKING
THE TRASH OUT. YOU HEAR ME?
I WAS JUST TAKING THE TRASH– SHE IS GONNA FUCK HIM UP. YOU SAID IT, BILL. OKAY, GRITS N’ GRAVY
IS UP NEXT. NOW, GRITS IS
MOST KNOWN FOR ONCE ROLLING 77 SEVENS IN A ROW
AT A CASINO IN LAS VEGAS, MAKING HIM
A MILLIONAIRE IN THE PROCESS. WELL, YOU KNOW, ROB,
EARLIER TODAY, WE ASKED HIM WHAT
HE DID WITH THE MONEY. LET’S TAKE A LOOK. I BOUGHT MY MAMA A CAR. I SPENT THE REST ON PCP. OKAY, SIMPLE ENOUGH. I LIKE HIS STYLE. LOVES HIS MOTHER. LOVES PCP. GRITS N’ GRAVY
IS READY TO ROLL. LET’S SEE HOW HE DOES. COME ON, PUT IN. ALL RIGHT. PUT UP OR SHUT UP. ALL RIGHT.
JUST HOLD ON. TIME TO DOUBLE UP! HERE TO TAKE
EVERYBODY MONEY. SEVEN!
SEVEN! SEVEN! WHAT YOU ALL KNOW
ABOUT SEVEN? PAY ME. BOY, YOU ARE
THE GODDAMN DEVIL. PUT IT DOWN THERE.
PUT IT DOWN THERE! LET’S SPREAD THIS AROUND.
YES. HUBBA-HUBBA! A’IGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I’M TIRED. I AIN’T GOT ALL DAY. I GOT BABIES TO KISS
AND BITCHES TO CATCH. ALL IN. ALL IN? I SEE YOU. [dramatic whistling] AND LEONARD
LAYING IT ON THICK. AN INCREDIBLE STARE DOWN BETWEEN LEONARD AND GRITS. LOOK AT THE FLARING NOSTRILS. MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP. OOH! SNAKE EYES!
DAMN! AND JUST LIKE THAT,
GRITS IS ELIMINATED. AND WHEN I LEAVE,
COME TOGETHER LIKE BUTT CHEEKS. AND IT COMES DOWN
TO THESE TWO MEN, LEONARD WASHINGTON
AND PHYUCK YIU. I WANT EVERYBODY IN HERE
TO GET BUTT-ASS NAKED! GET YOUR GODDAMN
CLOTHES OFF! THIS IS A ROBBERY! AND ALMOST ON CUE
THE GAME GETS ROBBED. LOCAL THUG
RODNEY “QUILLS” DINKINS, BREAKING INTO THE
MARCY PROJECTS HALLWAY HERE AND TELLING US ALL
TO GET BUTT NAKED. YOU KNOW, BILL,
DICE GAMES GET ROBBED. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. THEY VERY RARELY COME
TO A REASONABLE END. TV IS NO DIFFERENT. WHAT YOU WAITING FOR,
COOL BREEZE? GET BUTT NAKED
RIGHT NOW! GET IT OFF, SON! FIRST OF ALL, YOU BETTER
CHECK YOUR TONE WITH ME, MAN. I DON’T THINK YOU KNOW
WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO. I’M LEONARD WASHINGTON. I DON’T GET
BUTT NAKED FOR NOBODY. YOU WANT THIS ROLL, NIGGA, YOU GONNA HAVE TO
SHOOT ME. OKAY. THIS MOTHER FUCKER
HAS LOST HIS MIND. GOD DAMN! AND LEONARD TAKES
A SLUG TO THE LEG. OH, BUT I’LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING, ROB, YOU NOTICED HE SHOT HIM
BELOW THE WAIST, SO IT’S NOT
ATTEMPTED MURDER. THAT WAS VERY INTELLIGENT
ON QUILLS’ PART. QUILLS KNOWS THE LAW. THIS IS WHY BLACK PEOPLE
DON’T HAVE NOTHING. THIS IS JUST WHAT
THEY WANT US TO DO. YOUR MOTHER AIN’T SHIT. AND JUST IN TIME, HERE COMES
DUMB ASS ASHY LARRY. WHERE THE DICE?
WHERE THE DICE? WHERE THE DICE? YO, GIVE ME THAT
MONEY, SON! GO UPSTAIRS AND PUT ON
SOME LOTION, RIGHT NOW! KEISHA TOLD ME
JUST TO EMPTY THE TRASH. WELL, ROB, I GOT TO ADMIT, I SAW THIS ROBBERY COMING
FROM A MILE AWAY, WHICH IS WHY I PUT
MY CAR KEYS UP MY ASS. QUICK THINKING. THAT’S RIGHT, BITCH.
GET THEM GODDAMN CLOTHES OFF. GET THAT MONEY UP.
GET THAT MONEY UP! OKAY, OKAY. SO ON BEHALF OF BILL BURR
AND QUILLS, I’M ROBERT PETCOFF SAYING– GET THAT RING OFF.
GET THAT RING OFF, MAN! SORRY, HONEY. SO LONG FROM
THE MARCY PROJECTS AND THE WORLD SERIES
OF DICE. HOPEFULLY, NEXT YEAR, WE’LL BE ABLE TO GET
ALL THE WAY THROUGH IT, BUT PROBABLY NOT. SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAN! PUT THEM CAMERAS IN A BOX!

Comments (100)

  1. The hardcore fans know this but this was the episode that made Dave want to quit the show because he heard Bill Burr laughing at the episode and Dave felt like he was being laughed at and not with. He felt like maybe he was stereotyping his own people. I can kinda see why he felt that way. Too bad cuz the show was hilarious

  2. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!!
    Dave Chappelle Show seems like it was on light years ago. When people of all colors, race& creed could take raw comedy & laught like hell without gettin' hurt feelings& offended. Political correctness is a bunch of b.s.& only breeds more contempt of hatred amongst us all. Carlin, Prior, Charlie Murphy are missed&RIP. Chapelle , Eddie Murphy & all cutting edge comedians rock on!! To HELL with all social Justice Warriors. Let them all rot in their "safe zones". They are the problem with society today, the real bigots&racist among us today.

  3. "Your Momma ain't shit" – Leonard Washington……..LMAO

  4. Dave with a beard n hair look like Lakeith Stanfield 😂

  5. Yo momma ain't shit.

  6. Bill Burr with no accent

  7. That’s crazy because that’s not Marcy projects that’s Brownsville.

  8. KCMO!!! Eddie Griffin my man! Hometown of KC bruh

  9. Isn't Leonard Washington the same character in the Spouse Swap skit?

  10. Holly crap that’s bill burr I never noticed that until now

  11. Ashy Larry! 😂😂😂😂😂

  12. Shot him Below the belt so it's not attempted murder🤣🤣🤣

  13. How can Chappelle Show be so original and funny? No matter how many times you watch it, this stuff is 15 years old and still Amazing. Others have tried and failed but his work still holds up.

  14. RIP Charlie Murphy. Gone way too soon.

  15. Loved these skits when they first aired and have a greater appreciation for them now. Always glad to see comedians who have gained notoriety (like Bill) make appearances.

  16. And when i leave come together like buttcheeks

  17. Still one of my favorite skits of all time damn R.I.P Charlie Murphy 😥

  18. From ashy to classy lmao

  19. That nigga brought the trash to the game

  20. One of my favorite skits ever.

  21. 3:43 THAT FUCKING NOSEHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. Go upstairs and put on some lotion!!!

  23. How does street dice work? Is it like real craps? Is there a point involved?

  24. How does Ashy Larry have a girlfriend?😂😂😂

  25. Marcy soinn, MARCY!

  26. I love how they be treatin' this shit like Poker xD staredowns and shit xD

  27. "I spent the rest on… PCP."

  28. "PUT THAT 📸 IN THE BOX!"

  29. 2:24 …..she is gonna fuck him up…..!

  30. I've never heard a human call another human "cool breeze" before in my life… and it's awesome

  31. Boy you are the god damn devil lol

  32. I don’t know why, but it’s always annoyed the fuck out of me that The, and Marcy TheMarcy aren’t separated in the title at 0:05 seconds.

  33. Man is that Bill Burr?

  34. Amazing to see how successful Bill Burr is now.

  35. When you're depressed, this skit can help you!

  36. Rip Charlie Murphy we miss you

  37. From a town called none of ya got dam business

  38. “Your mother ain’t shit”

  39. Take that ring off, Take that ring off man!
    Sorry honey.😭

  40. Bill : she is going to fuck him up 🙂

  41. Nigga said “Boy you are the Got damn Devil” 🤣🤣

  42. Here comes ashy Larry

    Run it back run it back 😂

  43. That mans drier than Kunta Kinte ankles lololol I'm Lenord Washington where am I from???? A little town called none of your goddamn business. lolol

  44. R.I.P Charlie Murphy

  45. “ whatchu waitin for cool breeze?” Get butt naked”
    “First of all you better check ya tone wit me man I don’t think ya know who you talkin to “

  46. That one announcer looks like Obi-Wan

  47. MY BED STUY FLOWS MALICIOUS

  48. The rich kids always win

  49. Say, is that the legendary Bill Burr??!

  50. How are you supposed to quate a line from dave chappelle skits. Whan all of the lines are great???.

  51. My all time favorite comedians in one sketch
    Dave Chappell
    Bill Burr
    Eddie Griffin

  52. Back when people didn't know how awesome Bill Burr was going to be.

  53. Ashy Larry's head is too big for his body.

  54. Why the announcer look happy while they getting robbed

  55. Bill burr again. With hair.

  56. That's Bill fucking Burr

  57. Seeing Bill Burr with all that hair is hilarious

  58. "Yo mama ain't shit" 🤣🤣🤣

  59. ”She is gonna fuck him up “ 😂

  60. Why are we here, to by weed? Not this time.
    I damn near spit my coffee out .

  61. Skits like this is why Dave Chappelle is the undefeated comic champion…

  62. Soo,, if you shoot them away from vital organs it's not attempted murder? asking for a friend.

  63. RIP Charlie Murphy

  64. When Bill still had hair.

  65. And when I leave come together like buttcheeks.

  66. “You want this roll nigga? You gonna have to shoot me.”
    “Okay.”
    shoots his leg
    “THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS LOST HIS MIND! GOD DAYUMM!”
    XD

  67. A great skit with some great characters! These guys did a great job…that was some funny shit!

  68. I love bill burr man😂🤣

  69. So they are betting against a craps rolling at even odds? I'd play that game all day.

  70. Lol shit bill burr

  71. Dave Chappell is one of the few comedians today that can have me laughing my ass off!

  72. Chappelle is a GENIUS, 15 + years later and still HILARIOUS

  73. Ive just now, years after seeing this originally, notice that was Bill Burr. With is awful, because the announcer says it.

  74. you laugh you lose

  75. Phyuck Yiu: "Konnichiwa, bRitches!"
    lul

  76. One of my favorite skits. And to think we where watching a future legend of comedy in bill burr way back then.

  77. "Quills knows the law" Hahaha. Damn this was one of the best shows of ALL TIME

  78. Your mother ain't shit

  79. Sehm! SEHM! SEVEMM! 😂😂😂😂😂

  80. Ya moths ain’t shit

  81. “GO UPSTAIRS AND PUT ON SOME LOTION, RIGHT NOW”

  82. This man really put on some see-through pantyhose trynna hide his face 😭

  83. sorry honey as they take the wedding ring. priceless lol

  84. After all these years, Comedy Central is still milking him it 😂

  85. The line after washington got shot that's why we don't got nothing ya momma ain't shit… kills me every time

  86. Get upstairs and put on some lotion, right now! Gets me every time.

  87. When Ashy Larry blows on those dice though…. 🙂

  88. R.I.P. Charlie Murphy. Your tales are legend.

  89. Charlie Murphy look like mike tyson

  90. Is that announcer Bill Burr?

  91. Ashy Larry is BHD’s brother who never got out of the hood

  92. I'm bout to go from ashy to classy. XD

  93. Hidden gem in Bill Burr lol

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