for another episode of the Tony-winning segment
“Career Enders.” -ATTELL: Ah.
-FISHER: Whoa. ♪ ♪ (cheering and applause) Who do we have today, announcer? ANNOUNCER:
Tonight’s guest is Carrot Top. -Oh!
-(cheering and applause) Yeah! Hi! Hello, everybody! All right. -Thanks for having…
Oh, thanks, Dave! -All right! Hi. What a hot crowd. -Thank you.
-Hot crowd. Thank you for joining us,
Mr. Top. Thank you, Mrs. Spade. -Thank you for having me
on the show. -SPADE: Mm-hmm. So, uh, quick question.
What do you think about this new female
James Bond? Um, I think women already have
a license to kill. It’s called the #MeToo movement.
You all know. -Oh.
-(laughter and groaning) -No to that?
-Oh. Thank you. That’ll be all. -♪ ♪
-(laughter) -That’s all we needed to hear.
-I brought a whole thing. -No, that’s good. That’s all
we wanted. -What the… -Seriously? Seriously?
-Yeah. -Thanks, though.
-What the…? (groans) We just needed… (cheering and applause) CARROT TOP: My shot.
Dang, is she always a bitch? Why is she always being a… I’ve got, like,
300 props in here. I was… All the way from Vegas. All right, cut him off.
He’s on the mic. Listen, we got a lot of letters about this shrimps thing
I did yesterday, so I… Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Goddamn it. -No, no. Um…
-No, I got to do it. -I got to do it.
-(cheering and applause) I got to do it. I got my people! -These are my people!
-Okay. -All right, you get two jokes.
-I get– I flew– Okay, good. Okay. This is
a pacifier for an ugly baby. Right there. And we’re starting slow.
Take it easy. That was the Pee-wee Herman
doll. That was great. (laughing) Oh! Oh, shit! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry, -sorry, sorry.
-Keep go– keep going. -You got the crowd.
-I got one more. Uh, I-I made…
(laughs) I made a Shake Weight
so it wouldn’t go off when you’re working out.
It’s kind of weird. But, wait, no, wait,
I have one for Asian guys, too. -Look, the Asian one.
-That was great. -Thank you, Carrot Top.
-I got more. -Okay. -♪ ♪
-A piggy bank for gay guys. -Goes right in the butt.
-(cheering and applause) I got a… Oh, this is a plate. It’s a plate.
When you go to Grandma’s and you kind of… Mom food. I got all kind–
Oh, a boot with a kickstand. That way, you can fall down. That just looks funny. I don’t know what it is. I just got an ice tray
with a level. You can spill the water. And you can do that. Mm… What?