ArticlesBlog 5 TIPS for DEALING with an ALCOHOLIC PARENT or family member by therapist Kati Morton: psychology AA September 24, 201947 Related posts: What Is a Relapse | Dealing with a Mental Relapse 10 tips for dealing with stress Why Dating With Depression Is So (Bleeping) Hard – People Watching #3 Grad trips gone wild: S-Trip’s high school trips (CBC Marketplace) Related tags : aa addiction alcohol alcohol abuse alcohol addiction alcohol withdrawal alcoholic alcoholic parent alcoholism beer binge drinking booze drink drinking drinking problem drunk Health help how to help an alcoholic how to quit drinking how to stop drinking how to stop drinking alcohol kati morton mental health Mental Illness Psychology quit drinking recovery sober sobriety stop drinking stop drinking alcohol stress therapist therapy treatment ways to stop drinking Post navigation Previous Article The truth about the teatox craze (Marketplace) Next Article #HoodDocumentary | Family Business Comments (47) December 4, 2018 at 9:25 am Alcoholism is a disease where the parent doesn't want help, they are deeply embarrassed about their addiction. You will find that they will try to block the subject when it comes up, and they are not willing to express what they are feeling. I'm 13, and I am so done with it all, I hate life and I wonder to myself everyday why life is so cruel. I've never known anything else other than keep it to myself, and sucking it up. The sad reality, I've come to realise is that this is a burden I will have to carry through my whole life. And when I remember my childhood, I'll think "Jee-wiz, that was a cockup and a half. Reply December 21, 2018 at 12:55 pm I wanna talk to my therapist about my mum being an alchoholic, but my mum sees the same person as me. And because I’m 13 she wont let me go to other peoples houses ect. I also can’t get away from her because… well I’m 13! And I don’t have anyone else to go to. I don’t know what to do because I don’t know who to tell because I don’t want to be taken off of her, but Iwhen she drinks she can get really really abusive, sometimes physically but mostly verbally and emotionally. I don’t know what to do, someone please help! Reply December 25, 2018 at 10:54 pm My mom drinks some. at night and shes been drinking a lot, my parents always get into some sort of fight. Then my dad always comes upstairs to his office to work looking defeated and sad. I feel really bad for my dad because he works so much. Im so afraid to tell my mom to stop drinking so much, because im afraid that it will ruin our mother/daughter relationship and it will be awkward. Reply December 30, 2018 at 5:52 pm I'm 16 and My dad has been sober for over a year now, but I still fear that he will just start drinking again. I just feel a lot of us going through this just have to stay strong. None of my friends even know that my dads an alcoholic and I would never say it, and I remember every time my dad started drinking again or coming back from sea (Chief Engineer), that none of my friends could come to my house and I would always make up some excuses. Well yeah, Al I can say is stay strong and hope for the best and don't assume everyone's life is perfect even if they are wealthy! Reply January 2, 2019 at 8:59 pm That halped thank you😓😓😓😓😓😓😖😖😖 Reply January 21, 2019 at 6:54 pm Thank you so much for your help!!! Really opened my eyes. Reply January 28, 2019 at 6:06 pm so basically my mum has been drinking for 7 years and she stopped last year because she met someone but since hes gone to help his family in another country she's started drinking again. I want to tell my friends but i would feel embarrassed and i know one of my friends would have the urge to do something about it which means that she would tell someone and i dont want that to happen Reply February 2, 2019 at 2:21 pm This was very helpful thank u Reply February 4, 2019 at 3:58 am I'm worried for my mom and dad because every night I see 6 empty beer bottles on the counter, and their getting another out of the fridge! Then later they go get some more later when I go to bed. I'm just scared. They fight about being drunk in front of me and my siblings, and I hate it! I feel like my real mother and father is never actually there with us. Reply March 10, 2019 at 6:15 pm It's tough. I find myself becoming more and more bitter towards my own mother every time I see her continuously drink . Nearly every interaction with her she is drunk. Am I a bad person? Reply March 10, 2019 at 11:29 pm My dad is dancing without a shirt carrying his dad and swinging him around I NEED HELP Reply March 13, 2019 at 6:00 am Had a falling out with my mother today im 17 and this has been going on for a few years now she gambled away 6000$ in one night and i specifically tell her do not talk to me when you are drunk. I made up my mind today i exploded with anger today everything had been building up and it just happened i want to cut all ties with her at this moment because i really don't want to forgive today was just alot anyone else going rjrough this shit? I wanna hug someone right now Reply March 13, 2019 at 6:02 am Not my fault indeed i officially cut ties with my mother today i really just wanna hug someone going through this Reply March 23, 2019 at 2:36 am I live with my aunt and shes an alcoholic….she drinks EVERYDAY starting at 2pm and doesnt stop until like 9pm…straight Hennessey. I have no one and today i just went off on her…its not who i am, and im so upset with myself for getting so angry because of an alcoholic. Reply March 25, 2019 at 3:24 am what if both your parents drinkand your under 15 Reply March 31, 2019 at 5:28 am Right now my dad is really drunk and is vomiting so I need help Reply March 31, 2019 at 10:08 pm I’m curently sealing with my alcoholic father log with me. He was always calling to ask for money so we offered him to stay at my house so he can work and stop asking for money. He drinks every day and acts so annoying when he’s drunk. I’m tired of his attitude. Thank you for the video. Reply April 1, 2019 at 12:40 am I’m a 25 year old female and my mother has become an alcoholic.she was clean while I grew up. Actually she HATED alcohol so much because of her father and brothers being alcoholics when she was growing up. She married an alcoholic when I was 3 and helped him become sober. 20 years later and I moved back in with my mom stepdad, 18 year old brother and 12 year old twin sisters and it was a huge slap in the face. My mom and her than husband (the father of her 3 other kids) fought every night. Slamming doors, screaming, throwing dishes. It was terrible. My mom also seemed really distant when I’d see her (which wasn’t a lot between me working, her working and running around with the kids.) and it made me uneasy, but she would put on a good act for the most part so I shrugged my shoulders thinking that she’s just stressed about her relationship and my sister. My sister has very very very bad anxiety. She gets so worked up that she cant think straight and she’d have a fight or flight response. She’d become violent sometimes too, but mostly to herself or her twin sister. But with all the fighting she became unmanageable. Almost every night she too would have an episode. We’d have to pull her in when she’d try to escape out the top floor window. Or I’d stand between her and my other so that she couldn’t attach her because she suddenly became so violent towards her. It was exhausting. This lasted an entire summer. Finally I came home one night to my mom and her husband yelling at each other in the kitchen. She kicked him out. I finally just told her to tell me what was going on. He has started drinking again and also had sex addiction which he was diagnosed with a few years ago apparently and had yet to overcome. It was shocking to hear. She also discussed their financial state. Her husband had lost his job a few years ago and remained unemployed for an entire year. It really hurt them. While she talked to me I could smell something on her breath. It smelt like liquor, but like I said she hated alcohol so I just could fathom. Some time passed and I started to get the idea that they were both drinking. I found empty bottles of vodka in the cellar and furnace room. Honestly I was in denial I think. The moment I finally realize that she was drinking too much was a few weeks later when we went to my sisters soccer game and she’d keep disappearing and come back not looking like herself. After the game my sister had an episode in the car. We were on our way to my grandmother bday party at my aunts house. The whole drive there my mom and sister fought. When we arrived I got out of the car and went straight into the house. I was upset because I was starting to realize mom was drinking. When mom finally entered the house she tripped and from under her jacket a huge bottle of vodka spilled out. I front of everyone. But she grabbed it so quick and ran off. But I knew. I couldn’t deny it anymore. I was angry. I avoided her for a few days and finally confronted her. She was avoiding the confrontation. I felt so lost. What was I supposed to do. She has young children, one who is mentally ill. She needs to have a clear head for these kids. I broke down and texted my aunt. She invited me out to her house for the weekend. I broke down Nd told her everything. About all the fighting, the drinking, about my sister and her mental state. She ended up talking to. Y mom and my mom led through her teeth. Like Oscar worthy. Made me look like a paranoid, immature liar. The saving grace was that my aunt was moving into a house down the street from up a week later. She knew I wasn’t lying then because she saw it for herself. My mom and her husband split early the next year. 2 years later and it’s only gotten worse. My mom drinks all day. At work, at home, while she drives, takes care of her kids. She drinks to wake herself up, she drinks to sleep. It’s consistent. My aunt has been my saving grace. She has been there for me. I moved out for half a year but decided to return when I realized my sister were really suffering. A few nights ago I got home late, locked the door, turned off all the lights assuming everyone was asleep. 10 min later the doorbell rings. Thinking I’d accidentally locked my brother out I ran to open the door. It wasn’t my brother. It was my mom and a police officer. My mom had been arrested and the female officer took pity on her and brought her home to me instead. I was stunned. I literally just nodded and thanked the officer and as soon as I shut the door I said “I’m calling grandmie (my moms mom)” because I didn’t know what to do. I was scared. My mom ripped my phone out of my hands. I ran down to my aunts and had the biggest panic attack of my life. I couldn’t stop shaking. I couldn’t get the words out. Finally I was able to tell her. She ran up to the house but all the doors were locked. I was so scared. This morning one of my sisters responded saying that everything was ok. Today I made the decision to tell my moms friends. They had and idea apparently but were shocked about everything they didn’t know. Some didn’t even know that my mom and her ex split up. Omg. She just lies and lies. Reply May 16, 2019 at 8:34 am my mom is one and i never get sleep at all cause i have to baby sit HER. she’s a grown women in 13 years old and and she’s 42 it’s absolutely rediclous i’m the only who deals with it all my siblings are grown and don’t love here and my dads at work all day because my mom quit hers i’m so tired everyday and i don’t even have time for myself she makes me so uncomfortable when it comes to talking i’m so tried of it and done with her bullshit Reply May 20, 2019 at 9:57 am My bitch mother was a life long alcoholic. She ruined my family, nearly killed my sister and was just plain evil. Sober was quick to anger and drunk was worse. Reply June 2, 2019 at 10:14 am AL-ANON has been an amazing tool for me that I cannot advocate for enough. It gave me a space to not feel alone in, and an opportunity to see how alcoholism affected my decisions in ways I didn't even realize. It took a while to find the right group in which I felt comfortable and understood, but once I did, my life started changing rapidly. The most beneficial part was hearing how people struggled and OVERCAME challenges that I thought were just permanent situations. Things I didn't realize were symptoms and side affects of having an alcoholic parent. Things I thought were my own fault. There is hope and help, and this disease affects the family and loved ones of alcoholics just as much as its affects them. Take care of yourself 💚 Reply June 27, 2019 at 12:08 am Thank you for this video! <3 Definitely helpful! Reply June 29, 2019 at 6:32 pm I will never have peace until my abusive, alcoholic mother passes away. Then, finally I will know she is in hell where she deserves. Reply July 22, 2019 at 9:22 am How do I help my dad?My Mum has told my Dad to either get the help that he needs or she's leaving and taking me and my brother with her. I'm only 15 and I don't want my family to fall apart. He had 12 cans and a bottle of vodka the other night and the next day when I begged my dad to get help he just told me he doesn't have a problem. What do I do? Reply August 3, 2019 at 6:03 pm my mum is an alcoholic. right now she’s sitting in the garden with my older sister. she’s passed out. i thought it was funny at first. but now not so much… i was introduced to it when i was 6. My dad tells me i’m being stupid and i should just have fun like a kid, BUT I CANT. I’m different. She isn’t abusive or anything like that. I’m only 9 and none of my friends understand!! Can anyone help, please.. I can’t talk to anyone about it.. HELP Reply August 4, 2019 at 10:42 pm i hate my mom atm for drinking i dont even feel love for her anymore she smokes and drinks i just hate it i dont really hate her for drinking but when she is drunk she is annoying asf and weird Reply August 9, 2019 at 3:05 am My mom is not an alcoholic but the times she drink even if it's just a beer is enough she have 0 control and she say tons of means things and the worst is that you can clear see she mean it… Reply August 17, 2019 at 1:16 am I nuat lost my mom April 24th of this year. I was staying with my mom due to some financial problems. She lived under her sister who owns the house and is a alcoholic and since my mom passed away I had to take the apartment over.and she gets drunk and texts me and calls me saying really hurtful things about past fights with my mom and seems like she wants to reallly hurt me knowing that I myself had a traumatic brain injury and post traumatic stress disorder from the head injury/accident now I'm to the point where I can't take it anymore! I'm so depressed and anxious I have to hide at night and shut all my lights off so they don't know I'm home.its just getting to me and I'm going to get pissed if I don't figure something out! Ugh! Please what the hell do I do? I dont drink or do drugs I only work and come home I'm a 33 year old man with a 12 year old daughter and I can't live this way .I dont even know how to take care of myself half the time because of memory problems and anxiety and this shit is just making it worse! Reply August 18, 2019 at 2:44 am I am 29 and my mom still has huge problem with alcohol. I feel like it's getting worse every year…and I'm aware that one day I will find out that she died becuse of her addiction. I feel awful emptiness because I can't get rid of her out of my life ,I feel responsible for her and i feel I have to support her anyhow ,because she is too weak,because she is ill,because she is lonely, because she has never been taught different way.. Reply August 18, 2019 at 5:37 pm My mother died at 33 when we were kids from alcoholism, my grandmother found her on our couch . My brothers and I were staying with my father at that time because our stepfather beat up my mother and us when he was drunk. my mother had to stab him to make him stop hitting us. That's life with an alcoholic parent. Parents who drink alcohol,drugs,are stupid fucking idiots . We found hundreds of empty bottles of vodka stashed everywhere while cleaning the house after my mother died 😥 Reply August 21, 2019 at 1:31 pm My mother is an alcoholic and the worst think is that she try to hide it! I'm 12 and i live with my mom and grandmother cause my dad passed away… My mom does not wanna find job… After 2 years my mom and I gonna arrive in other sity cause i have to study but i am really scared cause then my mom is drunk she is horrible! She start screaming to me without reason, start to lie alot… And i will be so scared if she find a job cause one day she will go to work drunk and can you imagine what will happen! 😢😭😨😞😥 Reply August 22, 2019 at 11:36 pm It's been 10 years of my mom's alcoholism. I'm 16 and every morning I get up and she is drunk (earliest was 6 AM)I absolutely cannot wait to move out when I have enough money. my life is hell. Reply August 24, 2019 at 6:04 am I Need Help.My father is alcoholic and doesn't hesitate for bad task Reply August 24, 2019 at 10:37 am Alcoholism is a clear choice not an illness imo Reply August 24, 2019 at 4:05 pm I don’t have sympathy anymore. Growing up with an alcoholic and mentally ill person I can’t. When one would starve kids so they can get money for drinks. She didn’t ever work, lived on welfare, brought home men, punched holes in walls, set a fire in kitchen, yelled at us until 2am, expected us to be perfect, so many things. Put us in danger constant emotional abuse. Then watching her get eaten by cancer, don’t have time to worry anymore. I don’t need to understand it. What are kids supposed to do when everyone around them is a damn drunk. Glad I got away from that and will never ever drink. Guess that’s what I got out of it. Reply August 29, 2019 at 3:42 am She hit me and abused me I’m only8😢 Reply September 1, 2019 at 1:04 am There's only so many times that I can "put on my headphones and ignore it all." Reply September 1, 2019 at 2:37 am My moms drunk Reply September 1, 2019 at 5:17 am I don’t ever think my dad will get help. Whenever we mention to cut down the beers he gets anger and says why we all gonna die anyways. Ik he’s a good person inside bc I’ve seen it but it’s so hard seeing him not give two shits about the future for our family or seeing the future of his kids. Reply September 8, 2019 at 7:36 pm I cry myself to sleep most of the time. Nothing my family does can help my mum…I hate to see her like this. Reply September 11, 2019 at 3:30 am I'm going with therapy dawg. Abusive father and an alcoholic mother is not found in youtube 😀 Reply September 15, 2019 at 1:25 am My sister died(from cancer(i had 3 sisters 2 died and only 1 is left she is very suicidal and he laughs everything she says off as her looking for attention)) my father became an alcoholic and it's so fucking annoying. My dad wont just shut the fuck up. Something small happens and guess what? He wont forget. And when he snt drunk he "forgets" what he did. Dude's single handedly ruining my fucking life. And his way of trying to blame others for his actions is fucking priceless. Then he makes the fact that he works a way to try to gain pity/sympathy. Im almost 16 and im going to be working more hours than him. My friend working will help me get a job and i will do my best to work more hours than him just so he wont be able to use that as an excuse. And then there is the drunk driving. He stopped drunk driving when he almost killed the LAST sister i have left Reply September 16, 2019 at 12:20 am My dad is an alcoholic he does not abuse mentally or physically towards me but it worries me 24/7 he doesn’t drink til, he passes out but he still worries me and I can’t find the confidence to confront him Reply September 16, 2019 at 9:35 am My Father was Alcoholic and committed suicide 15 years ago. My sister who is 6 years older then me , was an extreme Alcoholic for 40 years of my life (I’m 47) . Despite her Alcoholism I loved her more then Anything. 2 1/2 months ago, she also decided to take her life!My heart is Beyond Broken, I’m beside myself and I am struggling on how to get through this. The Emotional pain is horrendous, almost more then I can bear. 💔I have No idea how to cope. If there is One thing I can tell anyone (that’s listening) about your loved ones who are alcoholic, please believe me when I say, You Have absolutely NO control over what they do, nor is there an any convincing them otherwise..Please hear me as I wasted my life trying to make sure she was okay. 12 DUI’s, Prison, a son who I helped raise, 8 Rehab’s, on and on and on…..The biggest mistake My Mom & I feel we made in retrospect is “We Loved her to Death”…LITERALLY! She needed to Deal with her own consequences, which she did to a degree, but it never stopped her.Point is As much as you love them. Please do not sacrifice your own well being and LIFE by trying to help or support them. You too have a life, you must go live it. The best thing you can do is walk away and let them fend for themselves.Ultimately it’s their decision anyway, again You have absolutely NO control over what they do. And no they are not listening to you. Even if you think they are…. They will appease you and tell you want you want to hear.This Disease is beyond destructive to the people around them. We end up hurting more then the Alcoholic.Sorry for such a long rant, I think I’m just for venting….I really hope I can help at least one person that is struggling with a loved one. As long as you engage in the behavior, You are basically as toxic As they are. This is your life Too, I’m telling you,PLEASE go live it or You WILL Regret it!!! I know because I lived it! If you read this…Thank You 🕉 Reply September 17, 2019 at 9:45 pm Please help:My father is a excessive drinker. He drinks every night and my mother shouts at him that he is the reason why our family is broken. I cry every night because I think I am the reason for his drinking. I’m 13 and I feel really depressed at the moment. Please share some advice. Reply September 21, 2019 at 2:40 am One thing I can not stand is me ,, having to look out my own balcony and see sober people walking around on a Friday night and people doing normal things ,, and me wishing I was like them , having nothing to worry about ,, and go bed with out worries ,, I ran sister who was an alcoholic now I have a boyfriend who is doing the same thing ,, coming home drunk ,, and he seems to be getting worse not better ,, he starting to see thing when drunk ,, talk to people who are not there ,, and yells, in his sleep ,, it like an old man lives inside him and it scares me ,, Reply September 21, 2019 at 5:33 am Its already 1:28 AM and my dad is drunk again and he courses and scream and weak up every body in home my little sister 6 months she is just a baby she cryes and I always try to take him bed so he can sleep but sometimes he gets upset with me for no reason and Next day he is alwas like nothis has happend . 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