Ah, beautiful spring. The warm sun shines
down on us, flowers blossom into beautiful spectacles. The… This is The Josh Speaks.
You’re watching The Josh Speaks. Heya playas, I f-cking hate allergies. Every single year
I look forward to everything nice about the Spring but this. Somewhere around 35 million
Americans suffer from allergies. That’s 35 million people blowing their nose, itching,
sneezing, coughing and looking like this! Allergy season usually starts in March or
April and can last anywhere up until the beginning of snowfall. How messed up is that? You spend
6 months of the year battling cold weather, bundling yourself up and covering your face
only to do the exact same thing during spring time. There IS a God and he is laughing at
people like me right now. But, even though allergies are totally incurable, here’s are
few helpful tips to not let them plague your life like they do mine. Tip number 1, when
planning activities, check the local pollen count for the day. Pollen is usually at it’s
highest in the early mornings and late afternoons. Which somehow seems strategically planned
for when people are going and coming from school and work. Keep laughing up there buddy.
Be prepared. Don’t be afraid to wear gloves so that you don’t scratch your eyes. Always
wear sunglasses so pollen doesn’t get in, and make sure to wear a mask to prevent anything
from going in your nose. Vitamin C is the cure for everything. It helps your immune
system protect itself against histamines which are produced by pollen. But if you ask me
off the record. Yea, I’m an anti-histamite. You hear that? Histamites, I don’t like your
kind around here. You better leave before something bad happens. They say to refrain
from eating any of the following things: junk food, frozen food and processed food. Apparently
this helps prevent your body from curing illness. And you know that whenever you can’t eat good
food that’s bad for you, you’re gonna have to eat bad food that’s good for you. And number
5, increase your intake of disgusting things like hot tea, honey, and spicy things like
ginger, onions and pepper. Bleh. Apparently hot liquids serve really well as a decongestant
but all that means to me is that you want me to drink things at the devil’s temperature.
Ain’t gonna happen. Allergies, you can’t kill em, but you can sure as hell fight em. It’s
amazing to see people’s different reactions for when I have a cold versus allergies. When
i have a cold people are like. But when they find out it’s just allergies they’re all like.
Oh that’s no problem. You can sneeze in my mouth if you want to. And the sad truth is
that allergies are hereditary so when your child breaks out with puffy eyes and a runny
nose, understand that that is what makes you a horrible parent. As always guys, love and…
love… love… peace. Dear God. It never ends.